Novel One - Phoenix Rising
John WorldPeace All Rights Reserved
WORLDPEACE ADVOCACY – NOVEL ONE
Juneau, you are just full of surprises are you not?’
I said. “We have been together, significantly, and I
realize I don’t even know you. Not in a bad way I am
just having to change that initial little girl image of you
in my mind into one of a very much engaged young woman. I
am pleasantly surprised.”
Cathy just smiled.
“What do you
think?” I asked Marshall.
that you have a publisher. They are going forward. And it
looks like there is going to be a lot more meetings in the
next few weeks than I anticipated. I like these people. They
seem to be sincere and they are asking the right questions.
But this is all new to me and so we really don’t understand
the right questions to ask or recognize the red lights and
deal breakers. It all seems simple enough but I feel we need
some advice. An agent or someone who has been through it,”
how I hate go-betweens,” I said. “It is like that
public defender I had in Federal Court. He did a good job
overall considering the circumstances but he changed between
our first meeting and the last. He was too corporate; too
much a part of the system. He never accepted that the cop
lied what happened. The public defender said those bruises
on the cop were nothing in the beginning. Then they were a
big issue and later he flat out said he believed the cop.
I will never get the bad taste out of my mouth regarding that
experience,” I said.
seems to me in this case, these people at Harper Collins can
see that this is a potentially very long running partnership.
If they lie to me, I will go to another publisher. I need
a lawyer to help us with the final contract, but there are
a lot of legal formbooks that should help us make sure all
the bases are covered. I don’t really want some agent
“For me the
web design business is the real cash cow. This book is worth
a lot of money but even if it was a billion dollars including
other books I write, it will still be peanuts compared to
the web design business. I know you can’t see this but
“I do think that you are going to need to try to read
my books, Marshall. I think that is really important but I
know how limited your time is. And I want you to be peripherally
involved in the web design business too,” I said.
want to draw you off you career path. But you are the sole
heir to everything I am doing right now. Even if I give away
some of the stock of the companies I intend to form, you will
still have controlling interest. Almost all the companies
are going to be private closely held corporations.”
do you thing?” I asked.
“To me it
looks like everything is going just fine; typical big corporation
doing its thing. They don’t run and jump. They have
committees. They form a consensus. These are not independent
sole proprietors. I think they are more excited than they
are revealing to us. We can tell a lot by the questions they
ask,” she said.
“I was surprised
by the presence of the shrink. But it shows how deeply they
are looking at this,” she added.
sales in this case depend a lot on you, John. If you disappear,
they will make some money but if you continue to do your thing
and promote the books along with your WorldPeace Advocacy
they can make a fortune,” Cathy said.
“I think the
book will be a required text in political science classes.
It is a political book. To a lesser degree it will be read
in law schools and in religious colleges,” she continued.
so many things tying into this book; your art, other books,
even your business, your social programs. And the supplement
to the auto biography will keep the discussions about you
and peace renewed,” she said.”
“Dad, I have
been busy with my Phd, the police department and Myle’s
Chiropractor business. I feel sort of out of the loop. I have
just not had the time to consider all of this. But what I
am seeing is that this is not a frivolous endeavor. This is
real and it is potentially real big. Right now, I am with
you to get a feel for things and to get a better understanding
but it is obvious that Cathy is much deeper into this after
just two weeks that I am. And I have been around the whole
time that you were developing all of this,” Marshall
“I feel I
need to be involved. I want to be involved. I will just have
to see how these meetings go. I am going to have to adjust
my schedule so I can be sure to attend as often as possible.”
when you read the first volume you will understand a lot more.
There is a lot there. It is virtually everything there is
that is important to know about me,” I said.
Cathy excused herself
to the ladies room. In part, because I sensed that she felt
Marshall and I needed to talk in private.
After she left the
room, I said, “We can talk about this tomorrow. I just
wanted you to have the input for our discussion. I think we
have covered all we can in the environment right now.”
gets back I am going to ask her to call Francois who I just
realized last night was here in New York. We can all go to
eat somewhere. Francois knows New York as well as Paris and
probably the rest of the world. I need to relax and a pleasant
meal and some wine would be nice,” I said.
“Who is Francois,”
“She is another
woman who is a friend of Cathy’s and one of about twenty-five
people I met in Paris. I thought they were going to be sort
of an independent group of peaceniks with whom I would socialize.
But I am finding out that all of them are very well off and
very well connected.”
“I feel sort
of lost,” Marshall said.
“How is that?”
a whole lot more going on than I ever imagined. Especially
since you got out of prison and more so since you went to
Paris,” he replied.
a lot of what you think about me comes from your brothers
and sister and mother who are all liars. I am not the person
people project me to be. I have my act together. I have been
seriously harmed by wives, parents and children,” I
your own life and cares Marshall. You have to continue on
that path. But I have no one else to confide in. So I need
you to be briefed on what I am doing. If something happens
to me, you will have to take control and direct traffic. In
a year or so, I will have people who you can talk to for information.
Right now I don’t have that network set up,” I
and I want to be involved,” he said.
Cathy walked into
the conference room.
“I am sorry,
Howard caught me in the hall and we chatted,” she said.
This is a done deal John. You are going to be famous. We,
you, have to do the details now; all the controls and stuff,
legal things” she said.
“I also called
Francois and she wants to take us to eat. I said I would call
and call her. I think we are ready to go,” I said.
up Francois and spoke rapidly to her in French then turned
and said, “Francois will pick us up in the front of
the building in about twenty minutes if that’s OK,”
me,” I said.
Cathy finished the
call to Francois and Marshall and I excused us to the men’s
room. Cathy said she would meet us in the lobby.
We took the elevator
to the first floor and waited inside for Francois. In about
ten minutes, Cathy said let’s go and led us to a black
limo in front of the building. The driver opened the door
and Cathy, Marshall and myself got in. Francois was dressed
very well and was sitting in the rear seat. She kissed Cathy
on the cheek, me on the lips and shook hands with Marshall.
I could tell Marshall was again surprised. I was surprised
at the limo.
I introduced Marshall
and Francois as the limo pulled out into traffic.
time do you have John,” Francois asked.
four hours I said before Marshall needs to be back to his
hotel; the Hilton,” I said.
Francois said as she pushed the com button and gave instructions
to the driver in French.
“It will be
about a twenty minute ride to the restaurant,” she said.
went well I understand,” Francois said.
“Yes, it did,”
great, I must say you have a very handsome son John. I don’t
think he knows what to think of me,” she laughed.
“He is a policeman,
Francois,” I said.
is about to become very famous Marshall,” Francois said.
“I think you
are right,” Marshall said. “I am having a hard
time keeping up. I am finding out more and more that I did
not know about him and his work. I am a bit overwhelmed with
all that is going on,” Marshall said.
is everything and for all of us, I think we are in the right
place at the right time. I feel very fortunate to have met
your dad, Dr. WorldPeace, and to be associated with him. He
continues to amaze me. When he meets up with some more of
our friends in Paris in a few weeks, things are really going
to begin to happen,” she said.
is excited about seeing you again, John,” Francois said.
“I am looking
forward to returning to Paris,” I said.
“I have some
changes being made to the apartment to Americanize it,”
not necessary,” I replied.
“It is a small
thing,” she said.
an apartment in Paris already?” Marshall asked me.
made it available to me when I was there. It is on the Seine
River. She is very gracious,” I said.
in you, Dr. WorldPeace. You are very special. I want to help
you in anyway I can. The apartment is a small thing,”
“It is a big
thing and thank you again,” I said as I leaned over
and kissed her.
welcome,” she smiled.
moved to the mundane. We had a very wonderful meal that Francois
insisted on paying for. Everyone got along well. I noticed
that Cathy has a definite habit of letting other people talk.
She listens. She does not miss anything.
I could tell Marshall
was working hard to keep up with all that was being discussed.
Francois spent a lot of time visiting with him and he with
her. It was interesting to watch. They were both sizing each
After we left the
restaurant, Francois dropped Marshall at his hotel and Cathy
and I at mine. She did not comment about the two different
hotels but she noticed. Francois said she had some things
to do but would come by the hotel later in the evening about
2000 if it was OK with Cathy and I. We agreed. There was no
need for her to ask. But I was glad to have some time with
Cathy alone. I would be in Washington most of the day tomorrow.
Cathy would not go there or even know where I was going.
When we arrived
at the room, I changed into something casual and got on the
bed to rest. I needed to nap but I wanted to talk to Cathy
so I asked her to make some coffee. She did and then took
a quick shower and emerged from the bathroom in her robe and
came and laid nest to me on the bed. I was deep in thought.
Things were moving very fast.
Neither one of us
said anything. We just relaxed deep into our own thoughts.
We fell asleep. I woke first and saw Cathy still asleep on
her back with her robe open. I thought about what a nice body
she had and how she looked and acted at the conference. I
wondered who she was. We had not had time to talk about her
childhood, education and so on. I didn’t know her really
but my feelings for her were very strong. I was glad that
I was going to have some time alone with Marshall tomorrow.
I looked at the
clock over the TV and realized I had been asleep about an
hour. I hated to get up and wake Cathy but my body was cramped
and I wanted another cup of coffee. To my surprise she did
not wake. She was obviously exhausted. I quietly made myself
a cup of coffee and sat down at the table to think. I expected
the Feds would give me some information about my new friends
at our meeting.
I really needed
Marshall’s input but I knew he was not integrated enough
in my life to give me the input I was really seeking. I missed
Kay because of the our strong relationship but I always had
to give myself a reality check that I never thought she would
leave me. I was carrying a very big load, self imposed no
doubt, but I really had no one to share my deepest thoughts
with. I felt very close to Cathy but I just didn’t know
her that well. I could not crash and burn another relationship.
Time is what I would need to trust again; a lot of time.
There was the strangeness
I felt by being reborn at sixty. I had a good life but I was
more alone than at any time in my life. I would ask the Feds
to give me a full report on Cathy even as I increased my questions
about her past. My past was an open book and our intimacy
had filled in all the blanks for her I think. She knew me.
I did not know her. She understood America by exposure more
than I understood France and Paris. When she woke, I would
begin the conversation regarding her past.
I was not having any misgivings about her at all. But it was
time to talk about her past because my feelings for her were
increasing. I would never be a one-woman man again. Kay’s
leaving still hurt. The void, a void was still there. Yet
for all my time spent on defining a non marital life style,
I still did not know what would work for me.
Francois was a very
independent woman. I doubted she was any more capable of giving
her whole heart to one man than I was giving mine to one woman.
I feel like she loved our relationship but was glad that Cathy
was the full time companion. Francois was older, more experienced
and tougher at least so it seemed. Cathy was a lot more in
tune and aware than her twenty-four years would indicate.
She was not or did not appear to be afraid of love.
phone rang. She woke in a momentary daze and got up to retrieve
the phone from her purse. As she left the bed her robe dropped
to the floor. Cathy knew I loved to just look at her and she
loved the way my eyes never got tired of caressing her.
The call was from
her mother it seemed. Some mundane event had transpired. She
came and sat in my lap as she talked for the next ten minutes.
She hung up, put the phone down, kissed me and melted into
my arms. She was a great pleasing experience. We were bonding
without speaking. She knew how to touch me without words.
She moved like we had been together a lot longer than a few
weeks. I remember her crying a few days ago because I was
not with her. And I thought about the confident women in the
meeting earlier today taht also touched and impressed me.
I left Francois
and Cathy about 0900 to take a cab to an address Marshall
had given me. It was a busy corner on the edge of Central
Park. As I exited the cab a man sitting on a bench pointed
to a black SUV parked a half a block away. I moved in that
direction and saw Marshall in the front seat of the SUV. He
motioned me to get into the back seat behind him. I complied.
Like before, we
took a circuitous route to the airport and boarded the same
plane for DC. The routine was the same as before. The only
difference was that there were seven men in the conference
room. I recognized the CIA/FBI directors, the head of NSA
Brian Johnson and the Secretary of State Cal Richards. Their
demeanor seemed to be user friendly.
The CIA Director Tom Wentworth again ran the meeting.
we have collected a lot of information on you since our last
meeting and our people have also read your books cover to
cover. What we have found is that most of the rumors about
you are unfounded. This is a confidential meeting and before
I go further, I need you to promise that what we tell you
is not going beyond this room and you will not try to initiate
any legal actions.
“I have no
intention of ever going to court again,” I said. “In
fact, if I was robbed or stabbed or shot, I may not call the
police. That is how strongly I feel.”
these reports, I can understand that. Let me tell you a few
of the things we have come to know.
1) The judge who
disbarred you, James Fry, is corrupt. And people at the Department
of Justice have determined that you were railroaded. In fact,
there was a blatant disregard for the law by Judge Fry. He
had a political mandate to disbar you.
2) The contempt hearing
subsequent to the disbarment was the worst miscarriage of
justice that our people have ever seen. Again, Judge Fry completely
and totally denied you your constitutional rights of due process.
Judge Hedges of the Fourteenth Court of Appeals illegally
appointed him to hear the contempt hearing.
The Supreme Court
of Texas got in line with the 14th Court of Appeals and Judge
Fry and backed their conspiracy against you.
The problem is the
fact that you made a lot of people mad in the Democratic Party
when you ran for governor in 2002 and you had the attention
of the White House. So you had some pretty powerful enemies.
But you also had a few friends.
We have talked to
Judge Fry and Judge Hedges of the Fourteenth Court of Appeals
and informed them that we are aware of their corrupt acts.
you should have hired a good attorney. The jury came back
with a 10/2 vote. One more juror and you would have won. But
that is all history.
3) Regarding Judge
Karen Brown and the Bankruptcy court we see in the pleadings
that you were begging for justice. The trustee did try to
screw your mother. The judge backed him. Her fear is based
just on the fact that you changed your name and she believed
you were justly disbarred.
4) We talked to Deputy
Pyka and he admitted that he lied about you knocking him down
and kicking him. Were he not retired we would have proceeded
against him through the U S Marshal’s Office.
5) Judge Lynn Hughes
hates your guts. He is a senile old man who does what he wants.
For you to plead out to the resisting arrest charge, with
no prior history, you should have not received more than sixty
days. Deputy Pyka’s lies added ten months to your sentence.
to our surprise you were not the bad guy in these matters.
Except you should not have resisted arrest. What you did was
in the gray area. But it is all history and we want you to
leave it as history. I want you to know that we know the truth.
“The fact that
you have acknowledged all these things goes a long way toward
healing my wounds,” I said. “But it will never
change the fact that my experience is just the way of the
justice system. All cops are not bad. I acknowledge that.
I hope someday I can regain my faith in American justice.
And I appreciate you acknowledging this in front of my son,”
we have also looked into your personal problem with your first
wife Sandra Jacobs and your children Brian, Stephanie and
David. We have determined that they did try to hurt you, even
destroy you. Again we take your side. But again that is all
“I tell you
these things Dr. WorldPeace because we want to work with you.
And finding out the truth of these matters makes us believe
you can be a valuable asset to us. We felt we needed to apologize
before we asked you to work with us.”
is accepted,” I said. “You have hit a very emotional
cord and if I could I would probably cry. But I wont. Those
wounds have scarred over and the pain has been endured and
dismissed. I just want you to know I am willing to do all
I can to help you because you shared this information with
me. I feel vindicated even if that vindication is limited
to those in this room.
said Tom. “I am going to turn this meeting over to Anne
my name is Anne Silverman and I work for the FBI. My job is
to profile people. I was asked to profile you.”
“What I found
Dr. WorldPeace is that you are a very intelligent, very spiritual,
very open, very intuitive, very enigmatic but very practical
man. I don’t know if there is a situation that you found
yourself in that you would not quickly evaluate it and create
a way to deal with it to your advantage. You are also as comfortable
talking to criminals as with presidents.”
“What is most
interesting is that you have written a book that clearly states
everything that you believe. I don’t have to spend time
evaluating you. You have put it all in your books. All I had
to do was to read your books. You have told the whole world
about your agenda. As you often say in the book, ‘the
most obvious is the most hidden’. In the book you give
hundreds of examples of how you view the problems facing the
world human society and how you would solve those problems.
You lay out a logical coherent plan for solving simple and
complex social problems.”
find a single subversive inclination or tendency in your books.
In fact, you are a super patriot who believes in America but
who is disappointed that America has not taken the lead in
bringing about a more sane and just world society. You are
a liberal. You are a patriot. I can’t imagine you working
against America even though you can get quite vocal about
what you perceive as injustice or outright lies.”
chosen a worthy mission, WorldPeace, and have devoted your
life to preparing for that mission and executing that mission.”
no fear and truly unlimited faith. You have never abandoned
these. The pattern is there. And your projection of the future
is in perfect harmony with your past.”
“You are persuasive
one on one. You can turn on the charm and charisma when you
need to. You can be hard when necessary. You are an idealist
but functionally a very practical person. You don’t
waste time pushing against the whole world on specific issues
for which the world is not ready. You do as much as you can.
You have learned to choose your battles.”
“I was asked
if you would work with the Feds and my answer is an absolute
yes. You are a peacenik but you served your county in the
Army and encouraged your sons to follow your example by going
into the Marine Corps.”
that is my summary of you. There is much more; all positive
in the important areas. Do you disagree with anything I have
you for all of that. You know me. You understand. And I thank
you for that,” I said.
Secretary of State
Cal Richards said, “Dr. WorldPeace just about all our
preconceived notions about you were wrong. Why is that?”
it is pretty simple Mr. Secretary. I have knowledge in so
many areas that most people cannot get a global view of me.
Everyone is like a blind man giving an opinion about the elephant.
Each, judges me by a part of me. They can’t see the
whole. Ms. Silverman may be the first. But she probably had
a lot of very gifted people pulling the profile together with
her. I let people see the side of me I want them to see. Long
ago I gave up trying to find someone on my level who could
see and understand all of me; how all the apparently disjunctive
acts and comments really fit together into a coherent personal
“I think a
big truth is that I could not do so well as a salesman if
I was the person I am accused of being.”
Tom Wentworth said,
“Dr. WorldPeace we need to discuss those people you
met in Paris.”
are all very rich; actually super rich. I am talking about
what we would call the friends of Jeremy. Every one of them
has upward of $500 million in personal assets from family
fortunes. We have profiles on every one of them. The three
you are closest to, Jeremy, Francois and Cathy I am giving
you their profiles to read after our meeting. You cannot take
these top-secret files out of this room. You can read them
here and now and you will have access to them in the future
if you so desire.”
“Tell me about
Cathy if you don’t mind,” I asked.
be glad to know she is exactly what she appears to be. She
is a twenty-four year old who is highly respected as you saw
with Howard Hendrix at Harper Collins yesterday. He was amazed
that you were one of her friends; and more. And her love for
you seems to be real. She is twenty-four and you are sixty
but she is a very smart woman. Her parents did an excellent
job of raising her. And like you, what you see is what you
“Who works for you?” I asked.
Francois. We did not put Francois on your case. It was a highly
unlikely coincidence that she met you,” he said.
“No. But Jeremy
has a lot of friends and some of those friends work for us.
Some work for other governments. But we will not give you
their files until they meet you,” he said.
“We are astounded
that you walked into the lives of these people by pure accident
and then impressed them. These people are hard to impress.
They are all schooled in the ways of the world and in how
to preserve the family fortune as well as their own. They
see something in you. They feel a kinship with you. They believe
in your vision.”
to Harper Collins, Howard Hendrix used to work for the CIA
after college. They are going to do a deal with you John and
it is a multi million dollar deal. They expect you to win
some literary prizes as well. Please let them give you this
information. I never said it.”
“Yes, I understand,”
we have all kinds of operations all over the world. If you
are willing, we will coordinate with Harper Collins to place
you where we need you. On the surface it will look like you
are promoting your books. And you will continue with your
WorldPeace Advocacy. But we will manipulate your agenda to
place you in a position to connect with people we need you
to talk to.”
“We are working
on giving you limited access to the White House and to the
President. This will increase you credibility in the world
with the people who need to be impressed.”
“We are also
going to make you a part time employee of the State Department
with diplomatic immunity worldwide but we don’t want
you to use it unless you absolutely have to,” he said.
“We are going
to send you to various classes over time. We have a lot to
do. We are anticipating a very long term association with
you; if you are willing.”
“I am assuming
that I will not be required to take assignments that I do
not feel in harmony with,” I said.
“You can reject
any assignment. Since you are not a career employee there
is no repercussions from refusing an assignment we want you
to take. We may want to place an employee on your payroll;
another personal assistant, a female. We will have to adjust
based on how your agenda develops. Harper Collins is also
trying to figure out a schedule for your book tour.”
“We are not
going to take control of your life but the more you are willing
to do for us the more we appreciate it.”
like to get together with you next week to ten days and go
over a preliminary schedule. We will try to work with Harper
Collins to minimize your travel. Much of your training will
be one on one where ever you happen to be.”
“We will also
be working with your son. This is all new to us. We are custom
designing a training and operations plan for you and Marshall,”
he continued to rapidly layout his overall plan.
“I would like
a full blown profile on Cathy,” I said. “We have
become very close and before I let it go much further, I want
to know who and what I am dealing with. I want to be able
to tell her I work for the government if possible. Not now
but in the future if necessary. This kind of work would seem
to require that I be able to talk to someone, discuss some
these assignments if possible,” I said.
“I will be
honest with you,” I said. “I have been married
thirty-eight out of forty-two years of my adult life. Right
now I am connected to several women but that is not my preference
or history. I feel that Cathy or some other woman and I will
form a one on one monogamous relationship in time. Cathy has
that potential and I want to know up front if there is something
regarding our relationship that will make that impossible
or short lived.”
one or two women will be with me always. I will work eighteen
hours a day seven days a week and it will take several personal
assistants to keep up with me especially when I am traveling
which may be all the time. I will have other assistants with
limited functions but I will need others to be with me all
the time and I don’t want to have to watch what I say.
So I would like to make sure those women closest to me are
cleared by you.”
“We will be
able to help you with that. We will have a complete workup
on Cathy before our next meeting,” Tom said.
Gentlemen this meeting seems to be moving forward smoothly.
What else do we need to discuss?” Tom said.
We have covered our agenda for today,” Oren Hensley
the Director of the FBI said.
“I am eager
to get moving,” I said. “I am looking forward
to working with all of you. And I want to say again thank
you for your acknowledgment regarding my legal problems. Maybe
one day I can get my law license back. Even if do, I will
be inactive. I have no desire to practice law.”
“It is on
the agenda Dr. WorldPeace,” Said dir FBI.
is nothing else, we will adjourn until next week. Dr. WorldPeace,
Angie here will give you some documents and phone numbers
that you need to keep with you. These documents are basic
and will be upgraded and expanded at our next meeting. Your
son will get similar documents and you both need to get Federal
is adjourned,” Tom Wentworth said.
I shook hand with
everyone in the room before they left. Everyone said congratulations
and good luck.
Marshall and I talked
with Angie for about an hour and then we returned to New York.
Marshall caught an immediate flight back to Houston and I
went to the hotel where Cathy was waiting. Francois had gone
back to Paris. I decided to stay two more days in New York
to be with Cathy.
When I exited prison
on December 19, 2008, I had six major projects to complete.
Fist and foremost, I had to type my manuscripts. There were
about seventy-five legal tablets consisting of about three
thousand pages of two hundred and fifty words per page; all
written by hand in cursive. It took me several months to type
the manuscripts and edit them for typos and such and then
for grammar and content and flow; a lot of work.
youngest sister and her husband live on a farm in Ganado,
Texas about seventy miles west of Houston. I had been close
to them all my life so I asked them if I could stay with them
now and then to type up my manuscripts. They owned a piece
of land inherited from his parents and I was allowed to stay
in the house where his grandfather had spent his last years.
It was used as a vacation house by one of his sisters but
was not going to be used in January or February 2009. So that
is where I began to type. There were no distractions except
for weekly visits from my two cousins Jennifer and Annette;
Mason and Edith’s daughters. They were about ten years
younger than me and I had baby sat for them while visiting
my grandparents during the summers.
Also during that
time, I typed all my poems and finished my interpretation
of the sacred texts of the major religions that I had begun
in 1993, and essentially finished in 1996. I also finished
my Book of Peace by adding on several chapters. There were
twenty-one chapters and I added four more making it twenty-five.
I also rewrote my web site at www.johnworldpeace.com.
When I finished,
I sent it all to Harper Collins and began to do the income
tax returns for 2002-2008 and at the same time began to scan
in all the pictures that were taken during the time Kay and
I were together. She had taken them to Austin after I went
to prison. She took all the others to my mother’s for
storage. There were about five thousand pictures to be scanned
in and I would work on that as a break from the taxes and
other more significant matters. I finished those projects
in March when I took the $5000 to Kay.
The last two projects
I had was to go through all the things Kay had packed while
I was in jail in order to sell the house on Heights and I
had to unpack and sort through all the business files for
WorldPeace Web Design to prepare to re launch that business.
These two projects were the priority when I returned form
the second trip to New York.
I decided to bring
Cathy back to Houston with me when she made the request in
New York. She said she would be even lonelier without me now
that we had deepened our relationship. She was going to be
my number one personal assistant and I wanted her to be familiar
with my past. Going through all my things was a good way to
bring her up to speed. Plus she could look at all my paintings
that were in storage and I would take her around and show
her all the places that had been a part of my life.
Just emptying the
hundreds of boxes in storage was a chore. As Cathy would open
the boxes I would sort what I intended to keep from what I
intended to take to a flea market and sell. So after it was
unpacked and sorted, everything needed to be repacked.
I had no money to
speak of and so my mother loaned me $10,000 from the sale
of the Heights house. I used some of it to rent a small apartment
for three months. Cathy and I lived there while we went through
everything. We were able to get through all the boxes of personal
things in about two weeks and then went to the flea market
two week ends in a row. Then I sold the rest of the stuff
to a dealer at the flea market. All together I made about
Cathy offered to
pay someone to just haul it all off instead of going to the
flea market but it just did not feel right to me. I wanted
to clean up my past. I wanted to know how much was left monetarily
and I wanted that money from my old life kept separate from
my new life. Besides, I still had the $45,000 from the Harper
option. But I wanted to keep the monies from before and after
prison separate. It was a silly superstitious thing but it
felt right and made sense to me.
When I finished everything,
I wanted to take the money I had from my old life and earmark
it to pay off the taxes.
By the end of April,
everything was completed and I then turned my attention to
my web design business. Even though I was going to be very
well off after the book deals were finalized with Harper Collins,
I wanted to make the web design business work because it would
provide jobs all over the world and promote peace and it was
important for me to show David that he blew billions of dollars
when he quit and tried to destroy the web design business
in January 2007.
In reality no matter
how much money I made from the books and WorldPeace related
endeavors, I knew it would be nothing compared to the income
from the internet related businesses.
I also needed a business
to divert my attention and allow me to get away from the WorldPeace
Advocacy; as well as a business to provide the money to expand
the WorldPeace Advocacy. It seemed like a lot to most people
but I knew what I needed to make me happy and what I needed
to do in order to accomplish my destiny.
The plan was of course
to primarily focus on the web design business and then the
WorldPeace Advocacy. I would also paint and I wanted to write
three or four novels a year. I realized in prison that I could
easily write a four hundred page novel in a month with the
use of a computer. I could write forty plus pages a day by
hand in jail so I could easily do sixty a day with a computer.
Six hundred and fifty hand written pages would translate into
about 400 book pages. So two weeks to write and two more to
edit a new novel.
Of course I would
have the money to pay a professional to clean up the grammar
and punctuation without destroying my writing style. I would
often edit legal pleadings ten times. My goal was three or
four novels a year and I would write the supplements to the
WorldPeace Advocacy each year. The autobiography supplements
would basically be in a journal format with daily entries.
I also had my daily op ed column in the newspapers as well
as my web site to write and edit.
Eventually I would
have personal assistants around the clock. I sleep very little
and so it would be necessary to have someone available at
0200 to take notes on various projects and to send queries
to various executives and others who worked for me. I expected
to push every minute of every twenty-four hours with work.
I would become a consummate workaholic.
A few days after
Cathy and I returned from New York, I received a call from
Jeremy. He had three of his friend who wanted a meeting with
me as soon as possible. They wanted to discuss my views about
human life and its spiritual connection. There were two men
and a woman from the University of Paris and they were very
old friends of Jeremy. The group would fly to Houston to meet
with me in two days if I was available. I agreed and asked
Jeremy to work through Cathy because she was now my personal
assistant. I told him I would have Cathy call him for the
details. Jeremy indicated that these friends would only be
able to stay one day before they had to return to Paris.
Cathy moved into
my apartment that was starting to get a bit crowded. She said
that she would start looking for a bigger place for us as
soon as we returned to Houston. She expected that I would
be entertaining or visiting with more and more people and
the apartment would just not be functional. She also agreed
to pay the rent on the new apartment as long as needed. I
told her that would not be necessary because I had the book
money from Harper. Not only that, I was determined to increase
the flow of monies from the web design business which had
already begun to bring in some monies. I was going to have
to find a programmer designer to come to work for me shortly.
I was also going to have to introduce Cathy to Linda and Rose.
Jeremy friends would
be arriving by plane early Friday morning. And were expected
at the apartment about 0900. Cathy had arranged it so that
I did not have to go to the airport to meet them. Cathy said
I was just going to be too busy for those kinds of things.
I knew she was right.
Cathy had arranged
for transportation from the airport through a limo service
but they would travel in a SUV and not a limo. Although Cathy
said that shortly we should have a limo service pick up many
of these people who would be coming to see me. Also she believed
we should move closer to the airport. I said I thought we
may keep something up there but I felt that my headquarters
in Houston needed to be closer to downtown Houston. Things
were moving very fast and a lot of things needed to be put
in place quickly. When the books began to be published within
six to nine months, things were going to get maddening; that
At 0900 Cathy answered
the door and Jeremy’s friends entered the apartment.
Cathy apparently knew them and made the introductions; Sam
Waters, William Carol and JoAnn Baker.
the small quarters,” I said. We will be moving shortly.
Dr. WorldPeace, we did not give you much notice of our desire
to see you,” said JoAnn.
“I try to accommodate
Jeremy’s requests. I know that he does not make frivolous
requests of me,” I said.
a seat and help yourself to the coffee and pastries Cathy
has set out for us.”
“I have read
your CV’s,” I said. “I am impressed; an
anthropologist, psychiatrist and a sociologist, each at the
top of your respective professions. I have been wondering
what it is that I can help you with.”
we have all read your books and we are amazed at the coherent
presentation of so much information relating to the human
social condition. Your experience and education and your intuitive
take on what is happening in the world human society is very
much of interest to us. We are all scholars and even though
we all feel we are able to see outside the restrictions of
our professions and areas of specialties, we feel you can
help us to bring together a lot of concepts we have that we
cannot seem to fit together in a coherent philosophy of human
society,” William said.
“We feel that
things in the world are moving so fast that the world human
society is about to face a melt down as a result of the speed
of light changes in the world. You seem to have a handle on
the entire global population and a global model that will
ease the coming global awakening.”
“I would like
to say that we represent a global think tank of about one
hundred and twenty five individuals from virtually all the
areas of human knowledge. We do not advertise our existence.
We are virtually unknown as a think tank. We are not a secret
organization. We just prefer to work in seclusion. Jeremy
has funded our modest needs which has mostly to do with the
expenses of gathering together and sharing information.”
“We are three
of the one hundred and twenty-five who were chosen to meet
with you and then to report back to our group with the hope
that we may engage in a much more expanded conversation with
a larger number of us in the near future. We feel you may
be the one person who can connect our thoughts together. We
have all this information and knowledge and understanding
but we cannot put it together in a manner that the world human
population can digest it. Your books are coherent and we feel
that some things that we have considered you have not yet
integrated into your books.”
“We need to
discuss these things with you so you can give us some insight
as to how they will fit into your WorldPeace philosophy. We
have a great appreciation for how you have integrated so many
things into what to us appears to be a practical path to peace
and the potential uplifting of society as well as coping with
the global chaos that humanity will face in the next decade.”
“We are not
Christian fundamentalists but we feel that a thinking, analytical
person can read the signs of great troubles coming. Essentially
the end time prophesies with a secular focus. In other words,
we do not feel these changes are religious but secular. The
greed of humanity is destroying the earth and we greatly fear
a critical mass in one of many areas will have a domino effect
on the other areas and lead to a point of no return; the end
result could be as much as an eighty percent termination of
the world human population.”
survive but we don’t want to see society set back into
the pre technological times due to the chaos. We believe there
is evidence that this has happened before; evidence from societies
that were in many ways more advanced than we are. We are reaching
for an understanding of what is going on. What are the universal/spiritual
common denominators? We seek understanding to assist us in
reducing the amount of the coming chaos..
“In a word,
we have no generalist among us. We are a group of ultra specialist
and are we feel blinded to the whole of how all things fit
together. We believe in cause and effect. But the problem
simply has too many facets and variables and unknowns and
we have not been able to identify the global themes.”
“So here we
are. All of us have greatly anticipated this time with you.
It is interesting to us that you have lived sixty years under
the radar refining your philosophy. We are all astounded with
what you have written.”
“I could go
on and on but from your eyes I feel that you have understood
everything I have said and know what we need to hear.”
“For me the
starting point was very simple,” I said. “Why
was I born? What is the purpose of life? If I could find a
logical answer to these two questions, then I could attach
everything else in this reality to it.”
my parents were Christians and so I only had the Christian
metaphor of life which for me explained little. I sought out
a just cosmology. I sought out a rule that explained to me
why some people died after weeks of life and others lasted
into their eighties and nineties and sometimes past one hundred.
How could there be justice with regards to heaven and hell
when one human being was required to endure eighty years of
temptation in this reality and others were only required to
live here for days. And even as I asked these questions, I
already knew no church elder or bureaucrat had the answer
beyond ‘God only knows’. That was not only unacceptable
to me but it made me angry. It was like a great cover up of
ignorance. I was to believe a half truth. I was to put my
faith in the ignorance of the truth that these religionist
were foisting on the world human society.”
“I felt certain
that there are higher truths of God that I cannot understand
by the simplicity of death which is the final truth of every
living thing in this universe. I was certain that there must
be a logical explanation to birth and death.
“I also intuitively
believed and sensed that if I had access to every human being
on the earth, that I could ask questions and some of these
people would have experienced things that would enlighten
me on these foundational issues. In other words, in the recorded
knowledge of the collective human consciousness, the answers
were available. I also felt that somewhere on the earth the
answers had been written down. There had to be religious and
spiritual writings which accumulated millennia of focused
searching into the questions of life and death,” I said.
the only books around my home were a set of Worldbook Encyclopedias.
But the knowledge contained in them was not metaphysical.
It was historical and factual and the basic truth I was seeking
were within in a few sentences within the biographies in the
“I was starved
for information. Even the library did not seem to me to hold
these truths distilled into books as religion and spirituality
and metaphysics. I was so ignorant I did not know where to
begin to look and my parents were not intellectual or philosophical
and so could not even understand my questions. In fact, my
father and mother did not read books. My father only began
to seriously read when he began to raise and fly pigeons and
his thirst for knowledge in that area forced him to read.”
“But he could
not even after having that epiphany regarding books, understand
my need to know about many universal truths that were way
beyond the secret to raising and training pigeons and racing
them. He became an expert in that area and he was a good businessman.
But his spirituality really came from living on a farm in
his youth and dealing with religious/spiritual issues by the
experience of being close to the earth. He is a very spiritual
person and his brothers and sisters are all intuitive but
they associate it with common sense. They do not give any
consideration to the higher philosophical discussions.”
quest was severely hampered by admonishments from my Christian
parents not to read the texts of the evil religions that non
Christians placed their faith in.”
“While in college,
I began to sense there were answers but my university education
was about making money with a college degree. However, at
the end of my third year of college I had to choose a subject
that would let me graduate within a year and I chose political
science. That department in the college of liberal arts would
take all my biology, art, business and so on hours.”
“I also felt
at the time I was making that decision that it was somehow
important that I have an understanding of world governments
because I saw myself potentially becoming a world ambassador
at some point in my life.”
college, I had developed a desire to understand the Hitler
phenomenon. I wanted to know how one man could gain so much
power and manifest so much evil. I considered him the devil
incarnate; the antichrist and still do. It amazed me that
just three years before my birth this mad man ruled Europe.
Hitler knew and understood the dark side of metaphysics. He
was a magician; an evil sorcerer. And he was embraced by the
German people to raise them up out of the mortal hell that
the English and French imposed on them after World War II.”
can be more representative of evil than the Nazi Swastika.
It was the mark of evil in the twentieth century. My father
feared and misunderstood my research into Hitler. I always
thought Hitler was of the darkest evil and never embraced
anything he stood for. I wanted to know how he marshaled the
forces of hell and earth to create his evil empire. And I
wanted to know because I wanted to recognize that evil if
it ever tried to manifest itself again in the world human
“As it turned
out, I came to believe that in some ways, in many ways, the
world human society is presently ready to produce another
Hitler in the Middle East. I believe humanity is about to
go through a global purging, a social epiphany but that birth
will come out of great pain and suffering and devastation.
I pray that contemporary civilization is not reduced back
to the Stone Age and our great technology and especially our
global communications are not again forfeited as they have
been in the ancient past. I have no doubt that the world human
population has a great historical spiritual memory of past
times when civilizations that were as great as ours but not
as advanced technologically existed and collapsed into oblivion.”
“On the earth,
the history of those great civilizations lays buried. The
most obvious technology is that of many huge stone structures.
We do not have the technology to easily move those twenty
ton stones now. Somehow those great stone temples were built
using a technology that allowed those stones to float or seem
to float with the aid of man. The discovery or rediscovery
of that technology will open our eyes to the true greatness
of those civilizations and explain how that technology existed
texts of the new world where that technology was religion
based were destroyed by the Christians who conquered, raped
and pillaged and desecrated the records of the great civilizations
of the North and South American continents.
But there is the
curious text of the Book of the Mormon.”
for going so far a field but I feel what I have said is a
foundation you need to understand what I am about to say.”
of my guests vigorously indicated that they were following
my logic; my personal journey to knowledge and an understanding
of life and death.”
of this understanding is for one and one purpose and that
is to increase the peace in the world human society and the
inner peace of all the human beings on the planet. This became
clear to me between ages forty and sixty. It was then that
I most clearly saw my destiny and my mission.”
Cathy had pulled
a chair to my right and a bit behind my shoulder. As per usual
she listened intently but said nothing.
“So how do
you understand life to be Dr. WorldPeace,” asked Sam
that heaven is just like earth. I believe the social organization
is the same with greater and lesser souls in heaven if you
will,” I said.
“In the book
of Genesis and every one of the world myths, man is made in
the image of God. So if we want to know what God and his heavenly
beings look like, then all we have to do is to look at ourselves.
We are also told there was a war among the angels; between
Satan and Michael considering the Christian metaphor, myth.
In the book of Revelation we are told that God sits on a throne
surrounded by twenty-four elders who we presume to be of the
highest social order in heaven.”
“Now we cannot
discount the fact that in order to explain these spiritual
realities human writers are forced to relate them to the human
experience on earth. So in reality heaven is only peripherally
like the earth reality in terms of how it looks. I believe
that the oneness of God is infinitely faceted and yet one.
This is something that the human mind cannot understand or
conceive. I think that it is more realistic to consider that
everything in heaven is just an indiscriminate field of energy
and we can project on that field any shape and vision that
we like. So when we say we are made in the image of God, the
image of God is the image of ourselves that we project on
God. What we can believe is that there is conflict among these
heavenly energies regardless of what they look like and regardless
of the true social structure. You have to really look at life
as a dream and nothing more. We are living on a dreamscape
that we humans have created by common definition. And science
and other studies are expanding that dream in an infinite
number of ways every day. To be simplistic, we can’t
fly in these human bodies because that is how we have agreed
to define this reality.”
“I would also
assume that you can distinguish one spiritual being from another;
that they do not all look like clones.”
I am about to tell you may sound radical but there is some
evidence in the works of Zechariah Sitchin that it may be
works, he indicates that there is a twelfth planet in the
solar system. But that planet is on an elliptical orbit like
asteroids from the Ort belt that surrounds our solar system.
These objects come in from deep space, circle close to the
sun and then return to deep space. In addition, they are on
an orbit that is not on the same plane as the planets we know
but at an angle that slices through that plane. This twelfth
planet is on a thirty degree elliptical orbit with the plane
on which our planets circle the sun in roughly circular orbits.
There is more about the mechanics of this in Zitchin’s
books which are alleged to be the translation of twenty five
thousand ancient Assyrian clay tablets.”
virtually all of this is contrary to conventional wisdom.
Conventional wisdom is almost always skewed for power and
political and religious agendas. It is skewed to keep the
keeper of the faith in power no matter how nonsensical that
doctrine and dogma and law really is. An example was the insistence
in the near past that the sun revolved around the earth, as
did the whole universe.”
“In the story
that Dr. Sitchin relates, the beings from this twelfth planet
came to earth to mine gold needed for their atmosphere. They
came here two hundred and fifty thousand years ago. The length
of their orbit is thirty-six hundred years and so these beings
who live a hundred orbits of thirty-six hundred years would
appear to be as gods, with a small ‘g’ to us humans.”
beings who came to mine gold landed in sub Saharan Africa.
After a period of time they complained about the hard work.
So the leader decided to take the best specimens of the several
races of human beings that existed on this planet and created
a homo sapien; and later a female, from the book of Genesis;
Adam and Eve.”
“What is interesting
to me is that scientific research has traced all of humanity
back to a single female they call Eve who lived two hundred
fifty thousand years ago. Also, I might add, these twenty-five
thousand clay tablets describe celestial events in our solar
system that seem to be valid. These tablets are six thousand
years old. A time we believe that was before the world human
society had the scientific ability to come to these conclusions.”
“The one point
I am making here, is that the word God and god with a small
‘g’ have become confused. The concept of a personal
god makes more sense to me if those gods were super beings
and not God, the infinite, omnipotent, with a big ‘G’.
In the Christian Bible, Abraham and others mention seeing
beings they recognized as gods. So these gods did walk among
men. And now in a diverse world society, they could well pass
as just another human being.”
is that these gods are not THE GOD. These gods are not all
seeing omnipotent but mortal beings and less than the all
inclusive infinite immortal God. These gods are subject to
the same laws of the spiritual universe as are we human beings.
The only real distinction is that their technology is greater
than ours but in truth through space travel and genetics and
nuclear power we seem to be catching up to them. The only
real difference may well be our much shorter life spans.”
“In the book
of Genesis, it states that God shortened the life of human
beings to one hundred and twenty years after the fall of human
beings in the Garden of Eden. So through stem cell research
and genetics we may well be on the threshold of significantly
extending the life of men to almost a thousand years or more;
a life span as great as the patriarchs in the book of Genesis.”
go further, one of the reasons that my life is in danger always
is because of my willingness to ask these questions; my willingness
to suggest a different definition of God and to try to understand
God. These questions and their answers significantly shake
the reality of the extremely conservative human beings who
fear a universe without boundaries. A super universe when
we are only one universe among infinite universes. These thoughts
under mind conventional wisdom regarding human significance
and that scares conservative people who many times congregate
as extreme fundamentalist in every religion and fascist in
every political reality.”
“Let me say
here that I am just a human being like all of you. I only
have questions. I have been on a life long quest for understanding.
I have written an epic novel with lots of questions. I am
prying open the doors of research into the meaning of life
and secondarily into ways to increase the peace in the world
human society. The two questions are linked.”
“What I am
doing is initiating a conversation; not a university lecture
on conventional wisdom but an open discussion world wide.
I have no fear of conversation and speculation. But many religious
fundamentalists believe that questioning God is evil and sinful.
How ridiculous. I am not a prophet. I am just a common man
with some unconventional questions.”
human society is about power. And some of my questions and
speculation and conversations in fact have the potential to
destroy those ideas and theories that are the foundation of
various power bases in the human society. The reality is that
these questions will eventually be accepted. So all that can
be accomplished by attacking me is to slow down the conversation.
But the universe, God, is tricky and many times a particular
action gives an unexpected or the feared outcome. Killing
me may increase the pace of intellectual speculation not slow
“And let me
say one other thing here. I believe in God and I have an unbounded
faith. My questions do not affect my faith negatively but
positively. My questions have verified and proven and expanded
my faith, not diminished it. But that is another discussion.
And we have a ways to go on the present conversation about
what is life, first.”
go further, let us take a break,” I said.
but all three were in deep thought. I took Cathy aside and
asked her what she thought.
as per usual you blow people away. These are very smart people
and you are putting things out to them that they have never
considered. They begin to see that they have spent a lifetime
working in their areas of interest but the global issues are
overwhelming them. They have the ability to keep up with you
but you are putting things out that they have never considered
and you are presenting things from a different perspective
than they are used to. And unlike them, you are not bound
by any specific rules of research and you have never had a
mentor to mold you into a particular way of thinking. By the
time they leave here they will be exhausted,” she said.
“I want to
tell you,” I said, “that having you here means
a lot to me. Having you here gives me peace. You are filling
a need I have had all my life. I cannot really imagine you
not in my life,” I said as I kissed her.
“I love you,
John,” she said as she looked deep into my eyes and
squeezed my hand. “I am going no where.”
Before I could respond,
JoAnn walked up followed by Sam and William.
there is an awful lot going on in my mind. I am interested
in everything you have said. You have given me, I think, a
glimpse of a hidden dynamic to your book. The context of the
book is awesome and inspiring and thought provoking but now
you are giving us the theory and ideas behind the words. The
book is becoming a living thing to me now. You have shown
me the spirit of the book,” she said.
“When I decided
to go to Paris,” I said, “I had hoped that I would
find people who could relate to some of what I had to say.
Truth is that I have led a lonely life due to the lack of
anyone to talk with about my thoughts. I begin to see that
I was right to go to Paris. I feel that I have found what
I was looking for. I have so much more to talk about. My question
is just how much can be taken in by others.”
William said, “Dr.
WorldPeace, we have other friends outside the peace group
who are going to be eager to meet and talk with you. There
are many questions.”
“I am sure
I speak for JoAnn and Sam when I say we want you back in Paris
as soon as possible. We want a lot more access to you. I feel
that our goals are in harmony with yours. Your book has given
us a framework to which we can connect our specialized knowledge.
I think your book is going to be a text book in classes in
many disciplines all over the world. It is a book with universal
applications. I think you might just change the world. I know
you will increase the peace,” he said as he reached
out to shake my hand.
Sam and JoAnn nodded
“For me, I
feel a peace and serenity that has escaped me all my life.
I feel safe. I feel rested. I feel pleasure and joy. Something
very wonderful is happening to me and I can assure you I give
thanks to God every night for this new life. I appreciate
all of you,” I said.
continue,” I said moving to my chair.
Cathy stroked my
back with her hand and my desire for her flowed through me
like a wave of warm healing energy.
I whispered in her ear.
I felt the electricity
flow through her body and reach out to bathe me in love.
body is nothing more than a disposable vehicle for the soul.
I believe the soul exists in the heavenly realm where it is
pure energy with a miniscule amount of tangible form. All
souls have always existed, like God. There is no beginning
and no end. This is the great mystery for humans whose experience
is that all things have a beginning and an end. It is easier
for me to understand this if I consider that the All There
Is contains the potential of every possibility: I like to
use the words Infinite Potential. A soul in heaven can understand
the potential of everything.”
concept is that there is no such thing as time in the All
There Is or what I refer to as the Infinite Potential. Everything
exists at once in the now. So the past is just as accessible
to the soul on a higher plane of existence as is the present.”
concept is that at any moment our conscious need is located
at a unique intersection of all realities. So to look at the
past or the future all we have to do is change locations of
our mind to a place in the future, look around and then return
to where we were.”
possible future exists in the now. We are just conscious of
the one unique intersection of all the variables with these
limited human barins.”
“In the higher
heavenly realms, the soul has the ability to experience one
event in multiple places at once. In these bodies, we are
only able to be conscious of one moment in time from one perspective.
In heaven there is no time and we can experience multiple
if not infinite locations at once. And there is no space either.
So the soul has an expanded consciousness with infinite channels.”
“When we come
into this reality, time becomes distinguished and we incarnate
into a body that has limited sight, smell, taste, hearing,
touch. The reason for a time distinction and limited senses
is so we do not become overloaded with input that is not relevant
to what we are trying to experience in this reality.”
hard it would be for us to function if we had the range of
vision of an eagle or the range of hearing of a dog. If we
had all our senses at max we would see multiple realities
overlaid on each other and it would be harder to stay in the
dimensional layer that we came into this reality to experience.”
of this is that we come into this reality in order to experience
time which we cannot experience in heaven where time is not
distinguished. We want to experience light and darkness whereas
in heaven it is not dark when there is no light. In heaven
there are no beginnings and no ends. In heaven there is no
sexual gender because souls cannot create other souls. And
more to the point a soul cannot create what has already been
created. Everything has always existed. See you can’t
you human language to explain the lack of time without using
a past, present or future tense in discussing such a concept.
In heaven everything
has always existed. It is an infinite potential; not distinguished.
We come to earth in these bodies that are equipped to parse
out time when there is no time and endings when there are
no endings. We come into these bodies to experience the intensity
that cannot be experienced without a human body that exists
in a seemingly tangible reality.”
“And as I
have said, we don’t want too much intensity in this
reality so these body have limited consciousness in order
not to overwhelm and distract the soul from whatever business
or destiny the soul came here to experience.”
“So life is
about entering this reality, being born on earth, and attaching
our spirit to a limited human vehicle at the time of conception.
At that time the soul begins to manipulate the future to its
personal needs. It builds in certain memories and skills and
a personality to achieve its mission in this reality. It develops
a human body to allow it to function in this reality.”
the human brain as a computer and the soul is uploading information
into that human brain that it will need in this reality.”
“I do believe
that some souls do not enter immediately at the time of conception
and I think that creates a problem because the human body,
the soul’s vehicle, is growing without directions so
some things are not entered into the human brain because the
deadlines have been missed if you will. This seems to me to
handicap the soul. We can easily see people with handicaps
all around us.”
“If the soul
does not get it right, then the future may be aborted as the
soul withdraws. And a ripple effect is created through out
the entire earthly reality. To be simplistic, this defective
human vehicle is the cause of many miscarriages.”
is that the soul can withdraw at anytime with the death of
the body. I believe the soul chooses its time to die and almost
never is it removed from this reality without its consent.
Remember all realities exist in the now so if the soul wants
to stay or leave it simply moves its conscious being to that
reality that will allow it to exist through death or continue
to live an different reality. All things are always going
on at the same time. So we control our experience. This is
an overwhelming concept. It means we are living the reality
we have chosen to date. It means our future has infinite possibilities
and the soul is driving the human conscious to experience
exactly what the soul desires to experience. Thus I say, ‘all
things are always the way they should be’.”
“The one absolute
is that all we experience is by choice. We are in total and
absolute control of our dream, our reality, our destiny, our
mission and our experience on this earth in this time and
“So the human
body is nothing more than a vehicle for the soul. When the
soul withdraws, the body dies and disintegrates over time
back into atoms and molecules to become part of some other
thing in this reality. These basic building blocks return
to that primal state to wait potential reassembly.”
“Now let me
add here that you can’t take anything I have said about
these matters literally. The human mind, being human, is limited
in how it understands. So what I have said is nothing but
my chosen metaphors to explain an abstract reality that the
human mind intuitively knows through the soul but cannot consciously
conceive because that abstraction is limitless and the human
mind deals only with finites. The human mind is logical and
linear. Only the soul can be conscious of abstractions.”
“So on its
most basic level, life is just a movie over which we have
total control moment to moment. What we experience is what
we have chosen moment to moment to experience. In heaven,
there is no time and only now. Time is part of this reality
so we can better focus on one moment as opposed to experiencing
all moments simultaneously. Our brains are not designed to
see multiple realities simultaneously; certainly not infinite
realities. The ultimate God is able to experience all things
at once making God omnipresent and omnipotent. This concept
of God, the ultimate reality of One is not the god in Genesis.
The god in Genesis is a limited manifestation of God. A god
with limitations existing in that form in order to communicate
with human beings.”
“To go further,
our belief that we are unique from others, is an illusion.
We are not unique. In these bodies, we have a unique perspective.
But we can choose our body. So if you follow this reasoning,
then you have a Oneness of God who experiences infinite manifestations
of the God self. So I guess you could say we are, as human
beings, just one eye of God’s infinite eyes. Eye being
a simple metaphor for the whole human being with all senses
not just the sense of sight.”
is real. It is just an elaborate dream that seems real.”
“What is the
point of life? There is no point. We are just receiving the
All There Is through the pinhole that is our human body. There
are many life forms; infinite life forms. All are nothing
more than an eye on All There Is; or the Infinite Potential.”
“And so at
last, we are not God but a conscious aspect of God. We are
God but our reality is a limited vision of God. You and I
are not separate, were are one, always observing ourselves
no matter what we are looking at and experiencing.”
it makes life exciting because we realize we are totally free
to do as we please. And yes, good and evil are one and only
distinguished in this time and place and only in regards to
how we as human beings are affected. There is good and evil
distinctions in an infinite number of realities but not all
realities. In some realities good and evil are not distinguished.
There is only life.”
don’t let your heads explode,” I smiled. “Only
a very few if any can understand what I am talking about here
because it is too great a leap from conventional wisdom and
thousands of years of religious programming within the world
human society to where my philosophy begins. But generations
are being born who will understand what I am saying; generations
who will wonder how anyone could have thought otherwise; with
such a limited perspective. So although my book will be read,
it will not be understood by most. It will be intuitively
embraced because it is a familiar enigma with something within
for everyone. It is also a guidepost for others who will come
after me trying to find a like mind to connect with. I am
that like mind but unfortunately from another point in linear
time. So I have to write as much as I can in order to be the
most helpful to those who are coming.”
JoAnn could stand
it no longer and stood up.
the Infinite Potential is logical but not linear,” I
said. “I believe it is cause and effect but much of
that cause and effect is abstract intangible impacting on
the tangible. So to see the logic, the beauty of God, you
have to step far away to get the universal view. Then all
things make sense. We are not able to experience that awareness
and that level of consciousness from within these limited
bodies but we can reach a place where we know for sure that
the Infinite Immortal All Inclusive abstract of God does exist
and nothing is by chance.”
OUR DREAM, THE DREAM.”
And the other thing,
like a movie, many people can view it at the same time. And
many can view it from the John WorldPeace perspective at the
same time. I am a potential that anyone can experience. There
may be billions of beings watching from the John WorldPeace
perspective even as we speak.”
Bill stood up. William
was too dumbfounded to move. Cathy made me another cup of
said JoAnn “I see now that you have a complete philosophy
regarding WorldPeace. Not only do you go into areas in the
social complex but you have gone into the inter dimensional
aspects of the world human society as well. And you have come
up with a unique new mix of heaven and hell and earth. You
have expanded the edge of reality beyond our universe into
the great void into which our universe is expanding; an area
that includes, no doubt, other universes. No homogenous formula
for you. You have engaged every human philosophy from simple
to ultra dynamic. You have left no stones unturned and I assume
that the annual supplement to you autobiography will address
any new issues that come up in the world human society.”
“As will my
novels,” I interjected.
attacked what you feel is an impediment to peace and explained
why and supported and bolstered the areas you feel promote
discounted religion and advocated spirituality which among
other areas has made every human being responsible for all
that creates chaos in the world.”
evil is human apathy. The light and darkness of the human
soul is the responsibility of each human being and the cumulative
effect is whether we have a more peaceful planet or chaos
on every level. Self interest is treated by you in economics
but also treated as the source of much evil because of the
dominance of self interest of the human body over the soul.
You point out that the temptation to do wrong is just too
great in a materialistic reality.”
believe this is just one social experiment among one kind
of beings in one isolated point of the universe. The soul
can visit whatever reality it desires and there are infinite
physical social realities: there are also infinite spiritual
realities. And both the tangible and intangible social orders
interact in infinite dynamics so that the soul can never tire
of exploring the Infinite Potential. The possibilities are
unlimited and all exist now. And the Infinite Potential is
all inclusive. What you can conceive, already exists.”
I said. “You understand that I have lived with these
ideas for so long that they are real to me. By and through
conversations, I have made sure that my philosophy holds water.
This is the thing that excites me about the release of my
book. Many questions will come and I will be able to make
a significant adjustment or verification of what I believe
if necessary. But remember this is a personal philosophy.
I have no intention of setting up an organization, school,
monastery or anything else. No followers or disciples, members.
I encourage others to come up with their own philosophy or
to comment on some aspect of mine.”
believe that the world human society through the internet
is about to experience an unbelievable metamorphosis; a world
wide epiphany. And I pray it is a positive uplifting experience.
It is possible that what is coming may push humans in the
direction of cynicism and apathy. With or without my books,
the international exchange of values is taking place now and
a new world philosophy is emerging even as we speak. There
has never been an all inclusive world philosophy. So something
very new and exciting is coming. I want to be an active participant
helping to usher it in not to mention defining it.”
the world over, feel comfortable speaking about their personal
views and experiences and revelations, that information will
feed onto the internet. There are many people who have insights
everyday. Valid revelations that without the internet would
be lost. I believe my book will become a framework for the
issues relating to WorldPeace to be discussed in depth.”
“Also we can
see what is important to the world human society and what
is not based on what is posted. It becomes a living breathing
dynamic philosophy. I am sure there will be WorldPeace Advocacy
scholars. It all makes me smile actually. The fact that humans
of any age, background, race, religion, political persuasion
or gender will be able to contribute and participate in this
the whole world engaged in a sincere WorldPeace objective.
As we learn what people think will create peace, we also learn
what they believe will be an impediment to peace. It is hard
for me to imagine the logistics of processing input from all
over the world. Some things will be able to be easily classified;
other nuances with not be so easy to classify. Some input
will be mechanically inserted as statistics, others will require
scholars to consider the input that is too unique to classify.”
is also important for you to understand. Your visit today
has let me see even more of the aspects of my Advocacy. This
is what excites me, the constant revelations. And I hope it
will cause an epiphany in others. My only concern is that
people may start believing the new metaphors are factual.
In regards to the spiritual side of reality, it is abstract
and will never be able to be adequately described with logical
this, as there is a personal ability to create one’s
reality, or make choices to change the path of one’s
life, what is real in the tangible reality is collective.
In other words, we humans cannot walk through walls because
the common wisdom, agreed paradigm is that will not be allowed.
But together, the world human society can change that. This
is the essence of miracles. A miracle is a sudden change in
the reality due to a change in people’s belief and desires.
This is most exciting. It means we as a group can change things.
If all the people on the earth chose to turn the sky pink,
it would happen. We can change the orbit of the earth; influence
the weather. The more we research the nature of things, the
more we define it. It becomes defined when a majority of society
believes and embraces it.”
define reality in their areas of specialization. Things become
how they define and describe them. But you are always building
on a base of knowledge that is already set in stone by the
prior world population. Those who live on the earth define
the reality of the earth. All things are possible all things
already exist. So we really steer this global dream as opposed
to actually creating it. Everything has already been created.
If all possibilities already exist, then there is nothing
to create. What we do is steer ourselves to the place we want
to go down the path we chose.”
will become a reality when WorldPeace becomes our priority.
This is it. This is the foundational message I have to disseminate.
If the whole world prayed for the healing of one terminally
ill patient don’t you realize that that person would
be healed? How could in not be so.”
“I want to
empower and consolidate people to increase the things that
create and support peace to over power those things that tend
toward chaos. That is what goes on now in politics in the
tangible world. But there is a whole dynamic of spiritual
power that can be channeled to overcome the negative desires
of part of the world human society. We live in a world we
have dreamed. Literally.”
I have written the
books. It will become a self fulfilling prophesy. Or did I
just see where things are going more clearly than others.
In my writing I have worked hard to maintain a positive vision
though there are some negative aspects. But the negative aspects
may be positive in that they are in fact a headsup as to what
can happen and therefore people can determine to avoid them.
There are too many variables and too many souls by way of
their human bodies to tell what the future will hold. What
I wanted to accomplish is to show people that they control
the dream they live personally as well as contribute to the
“I guess the
time has come for you all to just tell me what you most want
to know? What are the real questions here?” I asked.
up almost immediately. “I think what we are wondering
is whether you see yourself as the messiah.” Bill and
I looked at them
for a moment to determine how to respond to them regarding
such a volatile question.
Then I said, “If
you are looking for the messiah promised in the Christian
book of Revelation, I am not that. I was born of an earth
mother. I did not descend from the clouds as Jesus is supposed
to when he returns. I am not a miracle worker. I am just one
simple man with one simple message, actually one conversation:
I believe as Jane
Roberts said in her book ‘Seth Speaks’ of a different
kind of messiah. In her book, she said that John the Baptist,
Jesus and Paul formed a composite messiah. The job of bringing
forth a new manifestation was too big for one man. It took
a herald, John the Baptist to prepare the people for Jesus.
Then Jesus spent three years of his life bringing his philosophy
of the Kingdom of Heaven to the Jews. His life was cut short
with the crucifixion. I believe he knew that he would challenge
the Jewish bureaucracy and it would cost him his life. He
knew he must become a martyr for his philosophy that I believe
he spent his first thirty years of life working out or awakening
to his destiny. After he died, it took the Apostle Paul, a
man who was very intelligent, educated and a fanatic to consolidate
the message of Jesus into a coherent philosophy. He had unlimited
energy. Paul built the church among the gentiles. I believe
he did much more than Peter. Peter was not smart. He was not
an intellectual. And I feel that he had to be prodded to move
along. Whereas Peter denied Jesus when he was arrested, Paul
would have never done that. Paul was hard headed, obstinate
is that no one at that time knew of any other way to establish
a religion, to create a discipleship, except the example set
by all existing religious bureaucracies. So Paul simply copied
the Jewish bureaucracy. The difference of course was the Good
News of Jesus’ Kingdom of Heaven.”
religious bureaucracies, the survival of the bureaucracy had
a higher priority than spreading the message of Jesus. So
when there was a conflict between the needs of the bureaucracy
and the words of Jesus, the words of Jesus were skewed. Jesus
talked about faith in God but bureaucracies have faith in
men. Religious bureaucrats cannot understand the mind of a
revolutionary like Jesus; a man who could see the whole as
opposed to just focusing on a part of the whole. Jesus could
clearly see God’s plan and he had faith in it. The bureaucrats
could not see or believe in God.”
religion, like all religions over time, had degenerated into
rites and rituals that people mindlessly performed without
really tuning to the presence of God. So they do not feel
the Holy Spirit when they go to church. Also, and more importantly,
the bureaucrats are part of a money making enterprise and
they do not want that economy destroyed.”
attacked the money changers in the temple, wanting the temple
to be pure, the bureaucrats had no faith in God. They had
faith in the economics coming from the business of religion
that took place outside the temple proper. I’m sure
the cost of selling in that area was expensive but still lucrative
for the vendors who were lucky enough to get a permit to do
business in that area.”
“And I need
to add that the messiah that the people expected and the one
advocated by the Jewish bureaucrats was an impossible one.
So they had set the stage such that any messiah could be discounted
and then killed.”
evolve. And when a religious bureaucracy is too entrenched,
when the new manifestation appears, the only solution is a
new religion. So Jesus’ message was too radical for
the Jews and Christianity emerged. The rejection of Jesus
came at a high price because about thirty-five years after
Jesus’ crucifixion, the Jewish state was destroyed and
disbursed by the Romans and the temple was leveled.”
When Jesus said
the temple would be destroyed, he was drawing a parallel between
the actual Temple of Solomon and his body. But he said the
temple would be rebuilt in three days. He was speaking of
the temple of his body. But he said nothing about the rebuilding
of Solomon’s Temple. Jesus often spoke in riddles with
multiple meanings and did not fully explain all these meanings
to his own disciples. He gave one explanation and left them
to see the greater dynamic on their own which according to
the New Testament they never did.”
Bible was created for Christians in four hundred AD by Jerome.
All the sacred texts that were contrary to the official Bible
or not included were destroyed. And Christianity became static
and began to decay. It lost its flexibility to adapt. So as
time goes forward a religion loses credibility over issues
like the subordination of women which seems ridiculous in
contemporary post modern society.”
“Am I the
messiah as anticipated by traditional classical Christianity?
No. Who knows who or what I am. The ideas and conversations
that I have begun may flame out in a few years. Or they may
become the foundation of a new conversation that hopefully
will lead to a more sane society. Only time will tell.”
“What I am
speaking of is a new approach. I am invoking spirituality
over religion. Not really over it but as an adjustment to
it. The contemporary religious thought is that you cant spread
a spiritual message without a religious bureaucracy. I disagree.”
of this current drama is that anyone who claims to be a messiah,
avatar, martyr, Iman will be discounted by all the other religions.
Spirituality does not distinguish between religions but embraces
all of them. So a messiah, if you will, must appear without
a religious preference. Now such a person may not be embraced
because he does not come within a particular religious dynamic
but he or she will not be out of hand rejected because he
has shown no preference; no advocacy of one religion over
“What we know
is that religion has not brought peace on earth and the reason
is that all religions are elitist and exclusive. To see the
big picture you have to reject the notion that your particular
religion is THE RELIGION. You have to acknowledge that God
has no preference. This is a huge step for proselytizing Christian
missionaries. If you want to see what the religious aspect
of WorldPeace are really all about, you have to get outside
the box of your particular religious beliefs.”
“Now I want
to say here that my concept of a WorldPeace Advocacy goes
beyond religion and makes the same demands on the competing
political and justice systems in the world. So religion is
just a piece of the WorldPeace puzzle. You have to not only
embrace all religions as having something to contribute to
the discussion of God but you must embrace the secular reality
of society. Religious peace is worthless without a secular
secular justice is real and immediate. Religious justice is
postponed until after death. That does not make people happy.
So you must have a secular and religious justice as two sides
of the human reality.”
secular peace is not possible. The foundation, the supporting
energy of this reality, is the spiritual reality. So if peace
is to manifest, it will have to come from spirituality working
through the tangible secular human reality.”
I smiled. I knew I had thrown out so many radical ideas that
my listeners had no real idea what I was talking about.
“No one said
anything for several minutes. I motioned for Cathy to make
me a cup of coffee. She had a smile on her face. She had often
told me that she enjoyed it when I confounded very smart people.
I call it challenging their reality.”
Bill said, “John,
I need some time for my brain pan to process all you have
said. I have never really been presented with so much new
material to think about at one time. In fact, it seems to
me that you have transcended everything that has ever been
written about peace.”
“You see few
books of peace have been written without a personal agenda
and a bias toward politics and or religion. I don’t
advocate any political or religious system as being better
or worse overall than any other. I am free of all of that.
I like the place when my philosophy exists; one without bias
“We must acknowledge
that no political or religious system has manifested a giant
leap forward with respect to increasing the peace in the world
human society. None have any hope of manifesting peace on
earth. And that is because they are all exclusive and elitist.
And they are all predatory. Each fights for adherents and
all powerful political systems try to dominate, subject all
the less powerful systems and the result is the exploitation
of their natural resources to their detriment.”
World supports corrupt politicians in the Third World for
the purpose of exploitation of assets and with the result
of discounting human rights. The people of the Third World
are kept in bondage and poverty by their leaders who sell
out to the First World.”
again the religious bureaucracies support the political power
of its supporting countries and discounts the message of Jesus
for the purpose of increasing the earthly power of the Christian
bureaucracy. The Catholic Church did not challenge Hitler
because it was determined to survive Hitler. It turned its
back officially on the holocaust because of fear that after
the Jews were exterminated the Catholics would be next. Germany
was protestant if anything due to the influence of Martin
“It is all
very complex with regards to making changes but it is very
simple with regards to understanding the global perspective
of what the underlying motivators are that keep the world
JoAnn spoke up.
“John, we came here to get a feel for who you are behind
what you have written. Our mandate was to evaluate you to
quite frankly see if you were on the fringe, a rabble rouser,
without substance, coherence, sanity, if you will.”
“As you know
many people write books and have missions, destinies and agendas
and virtually all fall short of expectations. What I have
come to realize with you is that you are sincere but not egocentric.
I do not see you trying to foist your views on the world.
You definitely have a position but you repeat that it is only
your perspective. You are approaching the worthy and needed
goal of increasing the peace in the world human society as
you say but without trying to set up an organization. You
are undeniably anti establishment but you acknowledge the
need for an ordered civilization.”
“I find that
you have researched your subject, WorldPeace, to a Phd level.
You already have considerable education and you have taken
that method of study into religion and politics and WorldPeace.
I would say you have enough material for a Phd and you, whether
you view it this way or not, daily defend your doctorial thesis.”
you have a broad range of practical experience that tempers
your idealism. Most people consider the pursuit of peace to
be idealistic. You have obviously meditated significantly
on WorldPeace and religion, politics and the justice system
as well as gender bias. I think this is why you have a coherent
philosophy. As you have mentioned, posting on the internet
for over a decade has presented you with many questions and
challenges over the years that have required you to test that
input against your personal philosophy.”
contemplate and advocate WorldPeace but I don’t know
any that come close to your choice to experience why there
is no peace by challenging and participating in politics,
religion and the law. You go beyond scholarship into activism.
And amazingly your level of commitment is such that you changed
your name to John WorldPeace.”
“Let me also
say that I am amazed at how you have put a humanistic face
on being in prison. I agree with you that being incarcerated
has in fact given you credibility and your bona fides as a
peace advocate. All the significant peace advocates have been
imprisoned. I do not discount that your being in prison had
to do with your mother’s legal problem but that legal
system is part of your WorldPeace agenda. So even though you
were not jailed for participating in a peace demonstration,
you in my mind were in fact, as you say, a political prisoner.”
your name and going to prison places you in a category of
activism that few people admire or even aspire to. But again
without your studies and mediation and efforts and changing
your name, going to prison would not mean much. It is the
effort behind these acts that make them worthy.”
come back to Paris, we will went to set up a meeting with
our entire group if not a significant part of it. The more
of our group that comes to hear you personally, the more committed
I believe they will be.”
“All of us are looking for personal answers on these
matters in addition to supporting those people and events
that promote peace. We want to live a higher level of inner
peace even as we promote peace in more traditional ways.”
written the book, John. Now you must spend as much time as
possible communicating it around the world.”
believe John that you have laid the foundation for an ongoing
and significant conversation on peace and WorldPeace. And
I am eager to see how others around the world react and I
look forward to reading your annual supplements to your autobiography.”
for the kind words,” I said.
“My hope is
that others will follow me and lead others into asking themselves
what they can do to increase the peace.”
and Paul, Gandhi, Mohammed, Buddha, Baha’U’lah,
all spent forty years teaching their message. It seems that
is how long it takes to set a solid foundation for a new idea
in the world human society. It is my hope that I will live
to be one hundred and have time to sow and cultivate my ideas
and support others on the same general path to peace. Peace
will manifest if it becomes a top priority within the world
human society. There is much work to do. The most important
of which is to stop the fear that people have of peace. Somehow
everyone feels threatened by the thought of peace.”
“I think what
is going on is that people do not want to let go of their
elitist exclusive philosophies that would discount their politics
and religion as well most certainly as their racial and gender
prejudices. When I watch TV in other languages, I see the
same values all over the world; the desire for a better lifestyle,
jobs and the ability to support a family. People are the same
the world over. They just have to quit seeing race, religion
and politics as relevant to the human desires of all people.
We have to quit demonizing those who are not in our sub category
of humans. Of course this is a simple concept but a huge agenda
and undertaking. But this is what I have chosen to do with
my life,” I said.”
“So what is
the plan John.” Sam asked. “The plan for implementation.”
to Paris, things have sort of begun to move on their own.
I am playing it by ear. When I was released from prison, I
sort of thought I would have to do something. What I am finding
so for is that the books are doing a lot on their own. They
are preparing the way for me.”
“All I can
tell you is that I am excited about the future. I have very
much enjoyed this conversation and I am glad we had it. I
am looking forward to working with you and those you represent
long into the future,” I said.”
“John, I have
been looking for something for a long time regarding peace.
But the books I have read and peace advocates I have met just
have not measured up to my expectations. You on the other
hand look like the real deal. The questions I have learned
to ask and the signs I have learned to look for, I see in
you without having to ask. You answered my questions before
I had to ask them. I find that amazing.”
“In 1988 after
I changed my name, I looked diligently for a book of peace
or some religious text about peace; something that would speak
to me. I searched libraries and bookstores and found nothing.
So I decided to write down what I thought I was looking for.
In other words, if it was not in print, I needed to write
it. That is how the first Book of Peace came about. It took
five years to jell in my mind even though it was and is quite
a simple book. I have looked for others like myself and to
date have not found anyone. For most, peace is a part time
endeavor. For me it is my life. Even the things I do that
don’t seem related to peace are; my writings, art, businesses
it has been a great pleasure. We hate to go but we have a
few other matters to attend to before we go back to Paris,”
said JoAnn. Bill and Sam nodded in agreement.”
“I can tell
you that we will want several days with you when you come
back to Paris. When I came here, I was thinking we would not
need that much time with you. But now I see the range of the
WorldPeace Advocacy and your obvious ability to adjust to
any forum, personal or group or organizational. I will want
to schedule a lot more time with you. In addition to the full
group meeting, there will be several smaller gatherings. I
have already talked to Cathy about coordinating all these
know what I would do without her,” I said. “She
has been a God send.”
again for everything, Dr. WorldPeace,” Sam said.
and hugs they left with deep thoughts. I was a bit tired but
I felt uplifted. I sensed that these people were people of
substance whose commitment to peace was sincere and solid.
“I am always
amazed at you John,” Cathy said.
“How is that?”
“John you never asked me who those people were. You
don’t care if they are rich or poor. You don’t
seem to judge them except with regards to their sincerity
and level of commitment to peace and WorldPeace. I have never
seen you talk down to anyone but you always adjust to the
level of those who you are talking to. I have never seen anyone
as at ease with people from all walks of life and from the
bottom to the top of the social pyramid.”
just people,” I said. “But I have no tolerance
for those who create pain and suffering for others. I can
assure you I am capable of confronting anti social behavior.
Obviously my time in prison shows me to be an advocate for
peace but not a pacifist.”
“At any rate,
I am having fun. Each day is an adventure. And each day is
more and more of a joy because you are in my life.”
“I am addicted
to you John,” Cathy said as she moved into my arms.
I said, “the problem I have is that what I am trying
to do has so many facets and avenues that it is really hard
to focus. I did not expect things to move this fast. But after
I went to Paris and met you and your friends, everything has
moved into high gear. So some things that I expected to have
time to work out in my mind, need to be solved now.”
did not expect things to get moving until the books were actually
published and I thought that would take a year. Now I believe
that it will take less time than that. I think once Harper
figures out how they are going to approach this project, they
will put the books on the fast track.”
will,” She said. They already told me that. The problem
with Harper is also one of overload. Your concept is unique
and your autobiography is interesting of itself but it is
actually just the foundation of a multi book epic novel on
WorldPeace. Then add in the essays and the annual journal.
Then add in the fact that the rest of your life is just going
to be one never ending promotional tour. You end up with a
set of books that could become the best seller of all times.”
“I think something
else that is on Harper’s mind is just how much is there
in your head,” she lovingly said.
“I have been
messaging these subject all my life. Over time, different
events seemed to play into the same general scenarios and
“I can pick
up a newspaper and respond to five or six articles with ease.
I have a huge reservoir of thoughts about almost everything
in the social fabric that relates to peace. Think about it.
I guess I should have taken some courses in sociology. I guess
I need to go to the University of Houston and buy some text
thing is that I have a coherent philosophy which has been
personally tested against reality for decades. Now, I have
to get it all down on paper.”
“But at the
same time, I have to engage people and right now I feel that
I need to visit these local peace groups and start seeing
how they react to a federation of sorts to make them effective
as a group. I have to sell myself as the figurehead or focal
point of the peace movement worldwide. That will be easier
after the books comes out. But I need input now. When the
book comes out, there are going to be all kinds of high priorities
that will push it to the back. So I need to start working
on an approach to those peace groups.”
“Most of these
people are radical and even though they hold down bureaucratic
jobs, they rebel at being made a member of anything. They
are free thinkers. But they have to admit that there were
millions of them who tried to stop the war in Iraq to no avail.
George W. Bush just laughed at the chaos. It was like the
Romans and Barbarians. The barbarians were facing a very efficient
cannot stand up to governments without cohesion and organization.
The question is how to accomplish that cohesion.”
“John, I have
no idea,” Cathy said. “I, like most people, could
not even see the problem. So even the problem is new to me.
But I can see you are right. These people are not going to
want to subordinate themselves to an over lord. They don’t
even want to acknowledge equality with other peace groups.”
“I think you
need to get a list of local peace groups, make some inquiries
and set us up to start calling on the leaders,” I said.
“I can do
that,” she said.
“I know. In
the meantime, I have to spend some time on the web design
business. The only thing that most people really respect is
money. The web design business will bring in billions and
with billions not only can we employee unlimited numbers of
people, we can buy influence all over the world. I have a
lot to do,” I said. “Again it is all in my head.
I just have to get it down on paper so I can fine tune it.”
“What do you
want me to do right now,” she asked.
I would like for you to drive us to Galveston so I can walk
along the beach with my favorite peacenik,” I said with
favorite?” she asked.
my two ex wives and three of my kids have taken a huge chunk
of my heart. So much of me has died over the years. But I
find that you are giving me new hope. That’s another
train that has left the station without me being prepared.”
even know what to think about us Cathy. I just know you are
part of me and I refuse to look at how much because it scares
me to death.”
“You are not
afraid of anything John. But just know that you are my life,”
“See I can’t
even respond to that except to say that you make me very happy
and I don’t like it when you are not around,”
She came over, sat
on my lap and we began to kiss passionately.
The first meeting
with Bill Ned and Janice Jensen with ‘Houston Peace
Now’ took place at Starbucks. Cathy and I were the first
to arrive and decided to sit outside because it was such a
beautiful day and it was a bit more private. Bill and Janice
arrived about ten minutes after we did. Cathy took their orders
and went inside to fill them.
Bill was forty,
tall, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and sandals. He was a
runner and disciplined. Janice was about 5’ 5”,
dressed up a bit and driving a BMW. She worked for an attorney
as a paralegal. Bill was an architect.
Houston Peace Now
was established about fifteen years prior and leadership had
changed over the years. There was no automatic rotation of
office. Whoever wanted to be in charge and who performed the
job, kept the job as long as he or she wanted it. They had
a membership of about five hundred and another thousand who
subscribed to their web site newsletter. As would be expected,
they had about twenty regulars and the monthly meeting averaged
Bill was the first
to speak after the normal introductions and such.
were intrigued by Cathy’s call. We have met a lot of
‘peace’ people over the years that came and went.
People who appeared sincere but after six months or a year
or two, they just disappeared. But you changed your name a
couple of decades ago to WorldPeace and from looking at your
web site you have been pretty active in expressing yourself
over the last twenty years. Now it looks like you have a book
deal which should significantly increase your presence in
the world,” he said.
“I was wondering
why so many years in the background and why as a loner?”
“I had a lot
going on in my life. Education, children, two nineteen year
marriages, court fights against religion, politics and the
legal system, parents, as well as studying peace and experimenting
with increasing the peace. I tried to publish in 1993, and
looking back I was just not ready. I had nothing to say at
that time compared to what I have to say now,” I said.
“Now I am
sixty with no obligations and completely free to advocate
peace in a more expanded way. My books really showed me that
I have a lot to say. I thought my WorldPeace epic was going
to be about ten volumes but I see now it will not be finished
until I die and the number of volumes is impossible to predict.”
we can see the books,” Janice said.
“I am about
a week from closing a publishing deal with Harper Collins
and I believe that they are OK with a short written ‘trailer’
of a hundred pages or so. But this is a very big and unique
project and they want to maximize the marketing. Yet they
know that they need something significant out there to prepare
the way. I have so much material they feel a hundred pages
would be good.”
will probably be put on a web site but there will be a limited
run of about one thousand books. I know whom the books will
go to. Also there may well be a seventy-five page pamphlet
to send to a secondary market like peace groups. That may
be a run of about five thousand. So shortly, there will be
something for you to look at,” I said.
“At the same
time, I can talk about the content. They just don’t
want anything in printed form out there yet,” I said.
“I think if
you have looked at my web site, you have seen what the book
is about. The book is just a lot more organized and a lot
more dynamic. And when the books are published, the web site
will also become a lot more dynamic and interactive. There
is a huge advertising budget. Once the books come out, I expect
to be traveling for years promoting it all over the world.”
“We are impressed
with what we saw on your web site,” Janice said. “We
just did not know why we never saw it before.”
been out there since 1996, and it has gone through a lot of
changes. But it was never promoted to any great extent,”
“So what is
it you have in mind, John?” asked Bill.
George Bushwha was preparing to go into Iraq, there were massive
peace and anti war rallies. They were highly organized and
manifested in some cases on an hour’s notice. Yet they
were ineffective. The reason is quite simple. Bush as the
head of a very focused constituency was very organized and
connected to all the necessary politicians, supporters, bureaucrats,
armed forces. The peace groups were organized internally but
not between organizations. There was no designated representative
that could speak even the most simple message of “No
War” to Bush. And that is why Bush was totally non responsive
to the protests. The peace groups mobilized a phenomenal number
of activist and anti war people but they were without leadership.
Who was Bush to speak to? Who was designated to speak to Bush
on behalf of all the peaceniks?” I asked.
“You are right,”
has changed,” I said.
“You are right
again,” Bill said.
an elitist belief among all organizations that they are THE
PEACE ORGANIZATION and everyone should join them. Thousands
of peace organizations, millions of members and subscribers,
all elitist who support their group first and for the most
part exclusively. And there is nothing wrong with that. But
none of the organizations are big enough to put their leader
head to head with Bush or the UN or any other world leader.
Bottom line, the peace groups on the most basic issue, ‘No
War’ must come together as one and to do that there
must be a spokesman with their support or endorsement. Without
a spokesman, all the peace groups’ energy is just straw
in the wind. This reality is undeniable,” I said.
“So you want
to be the spokesman,” Janice said.
“If not me,
who?” I asked.
Neither said anything
and the silence lingered for several minutes as they mentally
accessed their position.
Then I said, “Virtually
every potential spokesperson is aligned by race, nation, religion
or even gender and they can’t qualify as spokesman because
of that bias. The world is run by White men. The Chinese will
change that in a few decades. A Muslim with not let a Christian
speak for him. And members of the Third World have no credibility.
So you have to have a White, male, American, spiritual individual
with no religious affiliations. That is the current reality
of world politics.”
have someone with the education, experience, dedication and
commitment,” I said “to be a focal point and speak
know anyone who can match my credentials. And I don’t
know anyone who has changed his or her name as an indication
of commitment to the cause of peace except me. I have been
John WorldPeace for twenty-two years. It is not something
I decided to do a few weeks or years ago. In my own way, I
have been a peace activist for a very long time. And my enthusiasm
and commitment has increased, not waned,” I said.
Again silence but
this time I was determined to wait for a response no matter
how long it was in coming. So I asked Cathy for a cup of coffee
after asking Bill and Janice if they needed a refill.
After Cathy returned
Bill said, “John, I feel like you have discounted everything
I have done because I was unable to successfully challenge
Bush over the war in Iraq.”
feel that way,” I said.
“In order to
accomplish my objective in this matter of peace, and in order
to bring the greatest number of peace organizations online,
I have to start with the most basic common denominator. Then
build from there. There is much more to any peace advocacy
than just a “No War” campaign.”
Janice said, “I
understand and I don’t feel you were talking down to
“Hey, I don’t
even have an organization. I have spent my life on the battlefield
of politics, religion and the justice system engaged in the
day-to-day operations. I have been a participating observer.
I have been seeking the causes of chaos to formulate a plan
to increase the peace. You have been working for peace and
I have been studying chaos. You have done and accomplished
infinitely more than me. Now is the time for me to act. But
I have no intention of beginning a peace organization or a
religion. I will have to have an administrator for coordinating
my activities but that will be employees not members, followers
or disciples. So I am not in competition with any peace organization,”
“I just want
your support so I can confront those who would create chaos
in the world human society. I want to be in a position when
these ‘powers that be’ must listen to me; give
me an audience. To get the greatest number of supporting endorsements
I must remain neutral in social and gender orientation and
nationality and religion.”
“So what I
said is not relevant to what you have done. I am talking to
you because you have done something and I want to have your
input on how I can pull all the peace organizations together.
Not as a federation but on an issue-by-issue basis. I want
a plan for significant backing and I want to put it to the
relevant leaders of the world,” I said.
“So how does
it work, John?” Janice asked.
is “No More War”. I intend to carry that message
to the UN. Each peace organization takes a vote. Do we support
that issue or not. If so, then I put on the internet a link
that states that I have the support of ‘x’ number
of peace organizations and consequently ‘y’ individuals
in the world. And that is the corollary message. “No
More War” and I have the support of ‘x’
peace organizations who represent ‘y’ individuals
who are in line with this message. That is it in the beginning.
But to me that is a huge first step. Pretty simple.”
Janice said, “If
I might ask, how do you fit into the WorldPeace Advocacy?”
Janice asked Cathy.
just say I am a ‘true believer’ and John and I
are very close,” Cathy said looking straight into Janice’s
eyes to see if she understood.
said Janice. “Are you friends?”
“I guess you
could say we are friends with benefits. I spend most of my
time in Paris where I live. I have a lot of peacenik friends
there. John and I met in Paris,” she said.
are really not asking for anything complicated. I thought
maybe you wanted to start an umbrella peace group,”
“Bill, I am
anti bureaucratic and some may accuse me of being the anarchist.
I would never organize anything that required a membership.
But I am practical enough to understand a need for an administrative
group to keep people informed; but no membership. I am one
man with one message, WorldPeace. All the rest is just commentary,”
“After I finalize
my book contract, I would like the opportunity to speak to
your group. I want to wait until after the contract is done
because I want to bring at least the pamphlet with me to pass
out. I expect that once the books come out, I will be on the
road virtually every day promoting. But everywhere I go to
promote my books, I intend to make contact with the local
“It is going
to be a monumental scheduling job to make sure that I don’t
have any idle time. This may go on for years because there
is the initial book which is an autobiography; sort of an
introduction, then every four to six months there will be
another WorldPeace Advocacy novel released. So for as many
as three years I will be traveling and speaking about WorldPeace.
Plus there are many peace projects that I want to initiate
and support as well as grow my web design business.”
“My web design
business is really the practical end of my WorldPeace Advocacy.
I believe that creating jobs worldwide is the most effective
way to increase the peace. And my web design business has
an unlimited potential in that regard. I have a huge agenda
and I wish I could share it with you but truthfully it would
take days. That is the purpose of the books; to lay out the
entire WorldPeace endeavor for the world to see.”
said Janice. “I had no idea how big your agenda seems
“I have been
working on this all my life in one way or another but most
especially since I changed my name in 1988. So I have had
a lot of time to work out the entire mission,” I said.
“I will say
that even though I have never sought a traditional public
platform, I have been commenting on global issues via the
internet for fifteen years. I have put my ideas out and responded
to the emails that I received. So I have tested my philosophy
and I have refined it. I am now ready to launch the WorldPeace
Advocacy in the world forum. Who knows where all this will
“I am excited
to think about what you may achieve,” Janice said.
is going to be a big factor in dissemination of my peace messages.
But I am working on a daily newspaper syndication and a thirty-minute
weekly radio show as well. I have a lot of energy even though
I am in my sixties now; a lot of energy. So I will be very
our attention, John,” said Bill. “I have seen
a lot of peace projects and peace advocates come and go over
the years but nothing like this. I have never met anyone who
has your commitment. I am really curious to see what happens
when you go public. I have no doubt you are going to make
“Let us hope,”
“John we need
to go,” said Cathy. “You have to be downtown in
“I am sorry.
I have to go. I wanted to talk to you about your organization.
I read your web site. You have been busy,” I said. “I
am impressed and that is why we called you.”
John,” said Bill.
was a pleasure.” I am looking forward to seeing you
again soon. Thanks for taking the time to meet with us,”
We all shook hands
and said goodbye. Then Cathy and I left. As per usual, Cathy
“So what did
you think?” I asked.
time we meet with someone, I see this WorldPeace Advocacy
as a bigger vision. I see different facets that I had not
have no idea how big my vision really is. I have been working
on this for twenty years. Now we have launched. When the books
come out this Advocacy will take off in multiple directions
all at once. I believe now that I will need a staff of two
or three traveling with us all the time.”
seem to be my number one fan so it seems that you should be
my number one everything,” I smiled.
for nineteen years I saw Kay in your role. And I am sure she
will eventually come on board and work out of Austin. I will
make her an offer that she can’t refuse. But there will
be no intimacy.”
“I was married
for essentially all my adult life and I just cant relate to
a single lifestyle. On the inside, my heart has been severely
damaged emotionally. The Snake and Kay and three of my children
have caused me serious emotional damage. It is the one area
that is gray. It is so complex an issue, and in truth its
goes back to my parents and my first girlfriend. We have had
some discussions along these lines but there is so much going
on. I have not fully opened up about just how damaged I feel.
At first, I thought your age would make any serious deep discussion
non productive. But I don’t know now. I feel like I
do need to see a marriage counselor. Not about marriage, but
about male-female relationships. I just can’t clearly
see that part of my life and yet you know how needy I am emotionally;
And I know that there
will be lots of women wanting a part of me that just will
not be available. I have no need to sleep with a lot of women.
I never was one to run around on my wives. I have too much
to do now. In fact, since you have given me so much peace,
I have been able to focus on the WorldPeace Advocacy because
you have been my emotional foundation.”
“I have had
two nineteen year marriages that just seemed to go “poof”
one day without warning because I had two women who would
not talk to me. I did not see it coming. What I perceived
as a bit of rough water was in fact the end. So there is a
lack of belief that I can get my companions to open up to
“You and I
need to have this communication, me more than you. But it
is opening up such a huge closet of chaos and devastation
in my mind that I don’t even know where to begin. But
I know that I have to have some resolution before these books
are published. So there is a short fuse here; a small window.”
you just let it work out John?” she asked.
see how I have worked out this WorldPeace Advocacy. I have
constantly massaged it in my mind. That is the way I am. Yet
in the area of companionship, love, intimacy, I am not prepared
and that is just not the way I work through things. Kay leaving
really shook my confidence in my ability to deal with women.
The Snake said I just did not understand women and twenty
years later I have to say she was right. Nothing has changed.”
know what its like to live with someone peacefully for nineteen
years and one day find out you don’t even know them.
Especially when you have had what you considered a deep intimacy
with that person. Obviously, I caused the both of them pain
in different ways. I think about Kay or what happened with
her all the time. Not because I want her back, that is history,
but just trying to work through what happened. And the one
thing I can’t understand is why neither Kay nor the
Snake were willing to just be up front with their desires.
At least the Snake went to the marriage counselor even though
she did not participate. Kay did not give me that choice.
She just left. And she wanted to leave the day she told me.
That is mind boggling after all those years of little ‘I
love you” notes. See there are doors even with my relationship
with Kay that I have not even opened yet.
line is that I am severely damaged on the inside. In my emotional
heart, I am functioning. I appear to be OK. You know my feelings
for you are true. But I am damaged. I have no other words.
I would have never left Kay or the Snake. In fact, I don’t
know if I am capable of leaving someone I have been deeply
intimate with. It will be you who leaves me if we ever part,”
You really are carrying a heavy emotional burden aren’t
you,” she said.
“Yes, I am,”
After a long silence,
she said. “John, I am not going anywhere. And I can
promise you if things are not working for me, I will tell
you long before it is past of the point of no return. OK?”
“I hear you
but I have heard that before. But you see it does not matter
because I am hooked on you and I cant leave. I am single and
know I must stay single but I only know how to deal with women
as wives. That is it in a nutshell. I only know how to deal
with women as wives. I don’t know how to deal with them
as girlfriends or companions.”
and the Snake, I always thought about going the distance.
Now I have no faith in that. Deep inside is a little voice
that says ‘she is going to leave, just give it time.
She will go.’ So for me it seems that all relationships
are day to day emotionally. I act as if that is not true but
deep in my head I keep hearing ‘It is just a matter
of time’. And that translates into safety in number
and not completely letting go and loving. I am no longer a
true believer in happily ever after. Kay and the Snake took
that fantasy from me and so did three of my children. It is
really very sad,” I said.
moving too fast for me to not tell you this. I am too open
a person not to make sure you know exactly where I am coming
how perfect our relationship becomes, it will never be what
it could have been if I had never met Kay or the Snake. That
is what is sad to me. That is what I am trying to tell you.”
“John, I am
not going anywhere. And if I object to something, or if you
are not fulfilling my needs, I will tell you long before there
is no more Cathy and John. Just know that,” she said.
it. I want to believe it. In the meantime, I just go forward.
I just told you what is going on in the deepest parts of my
heart. That’s all.”
“I do love
you in ways you don’t really understand yet,”
“I know John,”
home, I felt drained. I had not expected that conversation.
I was home and I wanted to hide in my mind in my safe harbor.
But my apartment was not a home like the one in the Heights.
I did not feel safe there. It was because it had no memories.
The Heights house had almost thirty years of memories for
Cathy ordered out
pizza. We talked about the WorldPeace Advocacy and had a great
evening. We both felt that the books were going to explode.
The books and me could go ballistic very soon. We were going
to ride the rocket.
About 1300 the doorbell
rang. Cathy got out of bed to see who it was. It was Rose.
She came into the bedroom, took off her clothes and got into
bed and Cathy right behind her on my other side.
Rose whispered, “I
love you” in my ear.
On Saturday morning,
Cathy and I went to Starbucks for breakfast. As per usual
she drove and I just enjoyed the city scenery in the short
drive. It was a pleasant morning and so we sat outside. Cathy
was dressed in her tight blue jeans, simple cotton t-shirt
and white tennis shoes.
“I love the
way you look when you dress like that,” I said. “Reminds
me of the fifties. Cotton was always my favorite fabric.”
things have been going really well. Everything is moving forward
and you really give me a lot of pleasure in all the things
you do,” I said.
“I feel a
deep conversation coming on, Dr. WorldPeace,” she said.
“I have been
accused of having nothing else but deep conversations. I just
keep thinking about being married; all those years. It is
so hard to relate to being single,” I said.
more and more each day that I really am married to the WorldPeace
Advocacy. Virtually everything I do, web design business,
painting, writing, reading are all connected in some way to
the WorldPeace Advocacy. I am always trying to expand my understanding
of how to increase the peace in the world and define my role:
and to choose the most positive projects. Sometimes a project
will bring tears to my eyes, like visiting sick children in
the hospital and some projects make me angry like prison reform.”
“I do not
spend much time thinking about fun things outside of making
love and incredible things like this outing this morning and
the time we go to the show or take short road trips. But most
of that is spur of the moment. No real advance planning. I
feel I need a break or you feel I need a break and so we go
do something for a few hours and sometimes all day. But no
matter what we are doing, I am still usually engaged in thinking
about WorldPeace directly or indirectly about the projects
and business that support the WorldPeace Advocacy.”
is that I am married to the WorldPeace Advocacy. The point
is that I have never placed anything above that priority.
All my life this has been true. Marriage was good but I was
never fully engaged. And I was not therefore as good a husband
or father as I could have been. But more important, even now
with that knowledge, I am still not all I could be to you.
I love you because unlike other women you push into my consciousness
but you have a real good sense of timing. You don’t
seem to push when you know I am too engaged in something else.
I feel I neglect you,” I said.
“I love to
touch you always. I love to feel and experience your presence
but I have a hard time disengaging from my thoughts and my
projects to fully connect with you.”
“John, I understand
all of that and I would love more of your time and longer
periods of connecting but I understood how something is always
going on with you. You never fully relax. It is always business
and the WorldPeace Advocacy. But that is OK. You make me happy
just allowing me to be near you and to do for you. When you
make love to me, I feel things I never imagined I could feel,”
“I also know
that if you were not the way you are, I may not be as attracted
to you. I don’t want to be with a man for leisure. It
is boring. I love the fact that moment to moment I don’t
know what you are going say or do. I know you are always cooking
up something interesting. You do not bore me,” she said.
“No, I am
sure I don’t. And I didn’t bore Kay. But I did
not love her enough either and for that reason among others,
or part of the point, is that I have to acknowledge that I
am selfish and nothing gets between me and my destiny. And
what is more important is I doubt if anything ever will. I
feel at the moment of my last breath, I will be chewing on
some idea or reality of the WorldPeace Advocacy.”
this allows me to be honest in a relationship. I can say I
am married to the WorldPeace Advocacy and this sounds hard.
No one can ever replace that as the primary focal point of
so much I feel compelled to accomplish and yet I know that
I have so much I want to do that I will never accomplish it.
So I can never relax. I have to keep moving for as long as
“So my dear
Cathy, you will always be my mistress but never my wife. My
wife is the WorldPeace Advocacy. You can have all of me that
there is available. But what is available is only what is
left when my wife exhausts me. That is when I step out of
the great destiny and come to you, reach out to you to love
and be loved by you.”
“John, I understood
this weeks ago,” she said. “I have been around
a lot of men who are committed to lesser noble tasks but when
they withdraw they don’t have the capacity to love like
you do. They cannot emotionally connect. In a word, they are
spiritually empty. They are creative machines at work caught
up in a materialistic jungle and give God credit for almost
nothing. Self made men they consider themselves to be. So
making love to them is like being used. You have said it.
Sex without emotion is unfulfilling. I can feel your emotions.
I know I mean something to you. I know you care about me and
love me, even though most of the time you cant disengage to
act on those feelings.”
after two marriages, I am paranoid about loss,” I said.
“It is difficult on top of all else I have said to make
you my one and only because I fear being alone again. I am
engaged in what I do but for the most part those activities
are strictly business. So those activities give a mental satisfaction
but they do not give emotional satisfaction. And for the most
part even when dealing with humans on that level it is sterile.
In some cases female employees are willing to engage in sex
under any circumstances. But in a sense they are like candy
and you know you cannot live on candy or live for candy.”
become someone constantly chasing sex. That would bore me.
Yet in certain cases, I want that connection but I always,
always, always logically evaluate the investment of time that
such pleasures will require. And all my life that has kept
me from indulging in what most would call casual sex. I could
not sacrifice my time with my children to be with a woman
outside marriage; or sacrifice time at school, painting or
writing. I have always been conscious of my time and that
any activity would require less time in some other endeavor.
And for me, except in the marriage, sex outside marriage was
as frivolous as eating a candy bar.”
again, I see that your attitude about this matter has been
thoroughly considered. You have spent a lot of time seeking
answers, seeking a workable path,” she said.
“I have. But
up until last year it was for the most part limited to a marriage
environment. Now I am in new territory where there is no marriage.
That limitation is gone. In fact, there are no limitations.
So I have to define John and Cathy to begin with and John
and Rose and Linda and Francois as well.”
“I can see
that you have to define all your female relationships,”
she said. “And I see that it is your concern and caring
about me that requires you not only to define it but then
to relate it to me. You care enough about me to be totally
open, honest and truthful even at the risk of losing me. Which
by the way I do not see happening.”
of all this is how important intimacy is to me, I said. “It
is spiritual. A sexual emotional intimate connection always
takes me to a higher spiritual plane of euphoria and creativity.
It some how opens the doors to revelations and insights. It
somehow puts me at ease and dissolves the real world,”
two times when I can connect with information, insights, guidance
from the spirit world. One is upon waking up in the morning
and the other is after an intense sexual release. At those
time, I can sort of float in this very beautiful space that
is totally natural. And it is not painful like asceticism.
It is an intensely blissful state. This feeling sometimes
comes right after a power nap. But not as frequently as the
morning and post sexual times. And sometimes there is only
the bliss without the revelation. I can take that bliss and
ask a question and get some level of revelation.”
“So I prefer
to be with a woman who can take me to that place. All intimacy
does not do it. Most women leave me flat and uninspired after
always take me there. Only one other person consistently was
able to do it and a second person could make it happen more
often than not.”
is why I say that I worshipped Kay. It was because she could
connect me with that spirituality but with Kay sex was not
always necessary to make it happen.”
with you is a spiritual one Cathy. But here again that does
not mean marriage. Sure, if I were a young man I would marry
you. I would want you to have my children and live a monogamous
relationship happily ever after. But I have lived that reality
with an evil person and I can’t go back in time. I am
now sixty and I cant have the relationship with you that I
would have craved at twenty.”
“John, I never
thought you felt that deeply about me,” she said.
“Yes I do.
But it is a situation that it cannot be more than a May/December
relationship. There are options that do not exist because
of my age. Age in the sense I have lived these realities of
youth and middle age. I feel very deeply for you but cannot
marry you and cannot have a monogamous relationship with you.
I cannot live anyway but free. But living free may well mean
you almost, and I repeat almost, exclusively. All of me is
just not available Cathy,” I said.
I could see that
she was in deep thought.
“You are in
new territory aren’t you?” I asked.
she said “but I accept it totally. I am just making
room in my philosophy for what you have said. I accept it
because I can’t be away from you. And I accept it because
for some reason I have no problem sharing you or sharing others
is amazing,” I said. “It really means on one level
or more you are as crazy as me in relation to the standard
model of male/female relationships”
is John that I have a need to be with other women,”
she said. “That need is not intense or all consuming.
But it is a desire I have always had. And for me, not only
do I love you and want you in many ways, I am very relaxed
and happy that you understand my bisexual needs. Most men
could not; would not accept it as an ongoing reality. They
accept it only in the beginning as a thrill but then they
reject it as a life style.”
it does not get in the way of our relationship that makes
me feel a sense of peace that I have never had in a male/female
“Sex and emotions
and intimacy is spiritual and unlocks creative energy for
me but it is not sacred and so there are no taboos for me,”
I said. “But I will say I do not desire a male relationship,”
“I did not
think you did,” she said. “It never occurred to
me that you might be gay or bisexual.”
“Sex is like
drugs and alcohol in that it can become addicting. The energy
is so strong. So again I know the edge of my envelope and
crazy intimacy like whips and chains are not something that
I desire to pursue,” I said.
being said, and this is obvious but something I never really
gave much thought to, being single with this mindset means
that the only way the majority of women are going to be able
to be intimate with me is to work with me. The women who I
daily work with and am around are the ones who I will be intimate
with. And the more a woman works with me, probably the more
frequently we will be intimate,” I said.
this comes probably from habit in that both wives worked with
me and they worked very long hours with me. So I came to respect
and desire that kind of relationship. Working together is
a low level of sexual intimacy for me.”
“I can see
that,” she said. “I have never worked with a lover
but in the time I have been with you, doing just that, has
shown me a whole different and exciting facet of a relationship.
To have a mental goal oriented intimacy I guess you could
“I feel I
have told you everything. I have been totally upfront with
you. I am telling you I feel love for you; that I enjoy your
company; that I would be sad if you left me. But at the same
time I am married to the WorldPeace Advocacy. We have talked
this almost to death over the time we have known each other.
We have talked about it all day today. You are still here
and I want you to stay. So all we can do now is move along
and see what happens,” I said.
I was about to ask
Cathy if she wanted another coffee when a man in his forties
walked up to the table, “Dr. WorldPeace?’ he asked.
I said cautiously.
He handed me his
business card. Harold Nusbaum, literary agent, New York, it
said. I handed it to Cathy.
from home aren’t you Mr. Nusbaum?” I said.
“I am always
on the road,” he said. But yes it is a long way from
New York to Houston. Do you have a minute?” he asked.
a seat,” I said. “This is my personal assistant
He reached out and
Cathy shook his hand.
I want to talk to you about representing you in marketing
your books,” he said.
“How do you
know I am marketing my books? How do you know I have even
written any books,” I asked.
I have been doing this a long time, twenty-five years and
I therefore have a lot of sources. I would rather not say
who but I will say that a lot of people have seen your books
if you think about it. In Falfurias, in the Federal facility
where you took a sabbatical, they read some of it and the
same was true in the Harris County facility during the shakedowns
and there are all the people at Harper Collins and there are
your friends and companions as well. And there were the inmates
you talked to. Lots of people including the government,”
I smiled and said,
“Amazing sir. You seem to be pretty well informed about
a nobody like me.”
“Not a nobody,”
he said. “Just, someone who has spent his life under
the radar in a sense; even through your web site is right
in front of everyone. The most obvious is the often the most
hidden,” he said with a smile.
I smiled and shook
his hands because he said the magic words ‘the most
obvious is often the most hidden’.
“I have not
seen your books; not a single page. But I have been told about
them and I am fascinated. I am also interested in a man named
WorldPeace,” he said. “That would be you.”
about what in particular?” I asked.
“In an enigmatic
way. The world is thinking about peace now. In a lot of ways
wars are hot and cold all over the globe. Christians are still
thinking about the messiah. The world society is tense about
oil and the economy. People in the know are looking around
what can I do for you?” I asked.
“I want to
represent you. I want to be your agent.”
“But you said
you don’t really know much about my books except through
second hand information. I am sure a guy like you does not
go randomly looking for an author in a Starbucks coffee shop.
And I assume you had to have me followed or there is no way
you would know I was here.”
“Yes, I had
someone follow you today in hopes I could meet with you. I
wanted to see you. I have been watching you and Cathy for
about thirty minutes. And I believe what I observed. You have
good people skills but my file on you shows a lot of sales
experience and a lot of history with areas that few people
go into; soldier, scholar, politician, legal warrior, spiritual,
artist, poet, father, man who mows his own grass, fearless,
full of faith.”
did a lot of research on me or somehow read my books,”
“I have some
very good people working for me, very good. And with someone
with your potential, I invest in the services of the best
of the best private investigators,” he said.
that the first book is an autobiography of your first sixty
years. I understand that the next books are all novels that
begin when you got out of prison and go forward for the next
forty years or more. You have written an epic set of books
about WorldPeace; the truth and the fiction all mixed up together.
And I understand there will also be supplements to the biography
that will mean people will be confused about what is real
and what is fiction unless they read carefully and remember.
And it is all focused on peace,” he said.
“That is it
in a nutshell,” I responded.
“Dr. WorldPeace, I have had your handwriting analyzed
from a page or two of the original manuscript. I have talked
to a few psychics about you. I have looked into your disbarment
and alleged resisting arrest. You were screwed. Every source
indicates that you are poised to make a significant impact
on the world. You are a very sane person. A practical, experienced
intellectual with people skills and unlimited energy,”
you are just full of flattery aren’t you.”
“It is true.
You know what I say is true, he said. “You are unique
and one of a kind, humble, aggressive kind of guy. You will
keep the people’s attention. You have all the skills
for your unique mission. A mission that looks like that of
a secular messiah, avatar.”
the word advocate,” I requested.
do you think about Mr. Nusbaum here?” I asked.
“I am still
working on it,” she said with a smile. “Let’s
put this conversation on hold and let me get everyone some
coffee. What would you like Mr. Nusbaum?” she asked.
but only if I can buy,” he said as he handed her a fifty
dollar bill which she accepted.
“Thank you,” I said.
“You can call
me John in these personal one-on-one environments,”
I am going to run to the men’s room. I will be right
“OK, I will
I looked up and
saw Marshall and his wife Myle driving up and when they got
out of their SUV, I saw Kay. I was quite surprised but little
coincidences and miracles have always been a part of my life.
“I got a call,”
Marshall said as he gave me a hug. Myle also hugged me as
“We were at
Myle’s office and Kay was having Myle adjust her back
and give her an acupuncture treatment,” Marshall said.
“After she finished, we closed the office and were going
to lunch when one of my friends from Washington called. He
said that you were talking to Mr. Nusbaum and I should go
see you,” Marshall related.
I said not fully understanding but knowing that Marshall would
tell me what I needed to know when he could. So I did not
ask any questions.
everyone?” he asked.
getting coffee and Harold is in the men’s room,”
Cathy and Harold
exited the door at the same time and Cathy gave him his coffee
and change. Then she looked up and saw Marshall and was surprised.
When Cathy and Harold
came to the table, everyone was introduced to each other.
is my son Marshall, a sergeant with HPD and his wife Myle
who is a chiropractor and my good second ex wife Kay. This
is Harold Nusbaum who wants to be my literary agent,”
I said. “We met about thirty minutes ago.”
I stood up and saw Francois approaching on foot.
I smiled and said,
“What a pleasant surprise.”
She greeted me in
French, hugged me and gave me her normal kiss on my lips.
Then she hugged Cathy as I pulled up a chair next to Marshall.
Cathy was seated to my right and Kay next to Cathy.
I am sure you remember Marshall and this is his wife Myle.
And this is my second ex wife, the angelic Kay,” I smiled.
Everyone shook hands
and Francois continued to speak French to which Marshall responded
in French to my surprise. Harold stood and introduced himself
in French and the three of them shook hands. Then Francois
and Myle and Kay went to get coffee.
is very interesting,” I said to Harold. “We will
have to see what this gathering is about when they all return.”
is a friend of Cathy’s from Paris and she always seems
to be around when something is happening with me,” I
said as I looked at Cathy who just smiled.
people are on my ‘A’ list Harold. Anything and
I mean anything you have to say to me, you can say in front
he said. “I sort of feel out numbered.”
“You are but
you are a man who knows how to dance,” I said.
“My life is
moving so fast now that nothing surprises me,” I said.
We then chatted
about mundane things until everyone returned to the table.
appeared this morning,” I said to everyone. “He
has admitted to stalking me to try to get me to hire him to
represent me with my book deals with Harper Collins. His background
check on me was quite thorough and I was impressed with the
detail he related to me and interested that I was worthy of
“And I made
a call and found that Mr. Nusbaum is a super star literary
agent. And his father from whom he learned his trade has been
in the business for fifty years,” said Cathy.
Cathy called me, I was on my way to see John and Cathy and
I also made some calls and found Mr. Nusbaum to be quite legitimate
and worthy of you John even considering his theatrics with
the private eyes,” said Francois.
I see you have an impressive network.” Said Harold.
said Marshall, “and my friends in Washington tell me
you are an honorable man who drives a hard but fair bargain,”
know so many people cared and I didn’t know I knew people
who could get this kind of information in minutes,”
I said. “You must be very well known Harold. Very well
“I get around,”
Obviously, to find
me at a coffee shop which I did not even know I was going
to visit today,” I said.
Harold back in 1993,
Kay and I were meditating on the Book of Peace I had written
and she saw quite a bit of the negotiations with Harper Collins
which at that time had an office in San Francisco.”
even had my handwriting analyzed and hired some psychic to
give him their opinions of me,” I said, “So he
is spook friendly.”
Spook is my and
Kay’s word for psychics.
you see me in the negotiations, Kay?” he asked.
I said. “Kay channeled to me in a guided meditation
I conducted. She seldom remembers anything in those sessions.
There were other people at Harper Collins but we were focused
on the CEO’s. So you were probably one of the unnamed
attendees,” I smiled.
Francois who likes
to keep thing moving quickly said, “So what is the deal
you are offering, Harold.”
the point, Madame, I like that,” Harold responded.
John’s books will put over the short term of five years
about one billion dollars in his pocket,” Harold said.
“And how many
millions will you pocket,” Francois asked.
of one hundred and fifty million,” he said.
for the best, being you and your dad, would be a first,”
Harold said. “But as important as money is, we believe
in the WorldPeace Advocacy as well as the books and so we
want to be part of it. Were that not the case my answer would
have been three hundred million dollars. We are willing to
take half of our standard fee because we are looking at global
exposure with this project and maybe make another five hundred
million over time from other books John writes world wide.
This may be the epic of the century or centuries; too early
to tell if it will be the book of the Third Millennium.”
“And how can
this be?” I asked.
are the Kwisats Haderach,” said Cathy.
And both Francois
and Harold looked like they had seen a ghost.
are going to get me shot,” I grinned.
“Wait, I am
lost,” said Marshall.
“You see Marshall,
the Kwisats Haderach is the messiah character in the Frank
Herbert’s books about his ‘Dune Universe’,”
not yet realize how dangerous those kinds of comments are
in America. She has not come to know how much people hate
WorldPeace and that there are Christian fanatics rivaling
the Muslim terrorists obsessed about the Second Coming of
Jesus,” I said.
When I said that,
I saw a muzzle flash from the roof of the building across
the street and felt the bullet slam into my upper right chest
knocking me backwards in my chair and onto the ground. The
rifle had a silencer and so no one but me knew what happened
but Marshall picked up on it almost immediately.
“I am OK.”
I whispered tying to catch my breath.
“I have on
the vest the Feds gave me,” I said to Marshall.
I did not wear the
vest often because it was hot. But I wore it that day under
my Hawaiian shirt.
Marshall was leaning
over me covering me and checking where I was hit. I again
told him I was OK and then I saw the FBI agent, who I assumed
called Marshall, run up. I pointed to the top of the building
where the shot came from and the agent ran in that direction.”
a late model dark green Volvo,” I said to Marshall.
“I want to
go to St. Joseph’s, Marshall,” I said.
her pistol out and said, “Give me your keys Marshall
and go get that lunatic.”
Then she said, “Let’s
me up and I told Kay to relax because I knew her heart was
jumping. Marshall helped me up and onto the back seat of his
SUV. Cathy got in the driver’s seat. Myle and Francois
got in the back with me. Kay got in the front.
“Do you know
where St. Joseph’s hospital is,” Kay asked Cathy.
she said as she sped out of the parking lot.
will you and Myle help me get this vest off,” I asked.
I was laying on the back seat still having trouble breathing.
The bullet almost completely knocked the wind out of me.
“Kay, I am
fine. Just take some deep breaths and relax,” I said.
She began her breathing
exercises to settle down her heart.
“I think I
will call you girls the WorldPeace Angels. You know like Charlie’s
Angels,” I smiled.
Thanks to Cathy,
we were at the hospital in less than ten minutes.
to bring a stretcher. I don’t want to walk in,”
When Cathy stopped
at the entrance to the ER, Myle jumped out of the SUV and
ran to get the attendees in the ER.
Francois held my
hand and rubbed my head.
“You sure are
a beautiful angel,” I said.
She smiled past the
look of shock on her face. “Just be still, John,”
“I am OK,” I said. “Per my dream last night,
I am fine.”
this, John?” asked Kay.
did you go to Starbucks?” she asked.
believe everything I dream. I would not get out of bed,”
I said. “You know how these visions work.”
face showed even more disbelief.
follow us?” I asked.
“I want to
talk more about that billion dollars. I did not dream that,”
I said smiling.
I know you are crazy and why virtually everyone thinks so,”
seen anything yet Francois,” said Kay. “You haven’t
seen anything yet.”
I got out of the
car with help from the orderlies and onto the gurney. The
orderlies took me into the ER and straight to X-ray just like
in my dream. The vest was off with my shirt on the back seat.
No blood was leaking out of me and no holes in me. I was concerned
about internal bleeding due to the impact but felt I would
be OK with nothing more than a huge bruise.
Francois gave me
a deep kiss on the lips as they rolled me into X-ray. Kay
looked like she was holding on fine and Cathy had the demeanor
of a soldier; all business watching everyone around. Myle
was holding my hand taking my pulse I think. She had felt
all over my chest in her chiropractic way.
And so it begins,
I thought. ‘La Baton Roule. Let the good times roll.’
“Harold I would
like to continue our meeting tomorrow about 1400. Get with
the girls and find a nice quiet place. I will be fine but
right now the trauma to my body and the tranquilizer they
just gave me is calling me to sleep,” I said.
“We will do
as you wish John,” Harold said. “You are an amazing
“How is that?”
“Just the way
you handled things,” he replied.
“Harold I almost
died in December 1997, of a heart attack and one thing I realized
is that I have no fear of death. And Harold when you have
no fear of death, you can do anything. Thanks for coming to
the hospital,” I said.
We shook hands and
he said his good byes, set the meeting up with Cathy and left.
As I was about to
fade into sleep, Francois leaned over and whispered in my
ear, “John, I am so turned on sexually right now I am
going crazy. I have never been this turned on in my life.
I want you right now,” she said.
“You will have
to wait beautiful until tomorrow. But don’t expect me
to repeat this again just to set you on fire,” I smiled.
I squeezed Kay and
Myle’s hand and told Cathy I loved her in her ear and
went to sleep.
About 1900 I woke
to find Marshall and Cathy talking.
“Hey what is
going on,” I said.
Marshall got up and
came over to the bed.
“They say everything
looks OK with you. Your heart is strong so it looks like no
trauma there. The vest I guess stopped the bullet. It was
not a high caliber,” he said.
“It was light
enough to have killed me and high enough to knock me over
in that chair. And I feel a good bruise. But that vest the
Feds gave me saved my life no doubt.”
the guy,” Marshall said.
him?” I asked.
I did,” said Marshall.
got him?” I smiled.
“Yes. You were
right about the green Volvo. While the FBI was on the roof,
I looked for the car. I spotted it before the guy got out
of the building. And I staked it out. I only had to wait about
five minutes and he came out of the back of the building dressed
in a suit. He looked like any other businessman. They had
not closed off all the exits yet; Not enough manpower. I don’t
know why the guy took so long to get out of the building except
that he took time to try to hid the rifle.”
“When he went
to the car, I approached him with my gun out. He was shocked.
He did not fight me. He did what I told him. I cuffed him
and walked him back to the building where the FBI guys were.
They could not believe I had him. I told them they needed
to listen to you in the future. If you said he was in a green
Volvo then they should look for one. Of course they don’t
know how you are. And by the way, why did you go out if you
had a dream of getting shot?” he asked.
you never know about these visions and dreams. Visions are
not like reality. And things change. I have had visions and
dreams that never happened. All I do is pay attention as I
move through the day after a vision like the one I had last
night. So I was keeping my eyes open. That is why I saw the
muzzle flash. But it could have been a nothing dream. Also,
I did not see myself killed. So I took confidence in that.
If I were going to be hurt real bad, I would have seen that
in my vision. The same is true if someone else was going to
be hurt. So this time the vision played out in reality,”
was that he is a radical Christian all caught up in End Times
prophecy but acting alone,” I said.
to me to be the case,” Marshall said. After I handed
him over to the FBI, I went with them to his apartment and
found a bunch of Second Coming antichrist literature. We are
not sure how it is he focused on you yet. He would not say.
But he did say that he knew you had on a vest because he could
see it in his scope. He also said that he had a low impact
bullet and had no intention of killing you. He just wanted
to get your attention but he was not real clear why.”
“It will eventually
come out. But I don’t feel he was paid. This was all
him. He must have met me from some time in the past. But you
know how much garbage is on the internet about me. Lots of
hateful stuff. That stuff could have set him off”
“So you are
the hero of the day my son,” I smiled.
“Dad this is
serious stuff. He could have been a bad shot and killed you.”
I said. I just can’t worry about it. Really I just can’t
relate to it. I have had so many threats over the last twenty
years. And if someone shoots me in the head, I wont even know
it. So what is there to worry about?” I have faith in
God to protect me but I am not stupid. I wore the vest didn’t
I?” I asked.
“Yes you did
and that is why you aren’t on the autopsy table right
now,” Marshall said.
Then all of a sudden
Francois came into the room. She ignored Marshall and Cathy
and came straight to me and gave me a long deep kiss. She
was shaking all over. Then she asked if she could talk to
me alone. So Marshall and Cathy went out into the hallway.
between my legs and massaged me for a minute without saying
a word, then began to unbutton the one-piece black dress she
had on. As she unbuttoned the dress down the front, I could
see she had nothing on under it. She then pulled down the
sheets and got on top of me and began to make passionate love
I thought that she
already cleared this with Cathy and no one was going to get
in the room even though my heart beat was increasing and surely
coming to the attention of the nurses station. After about
ten minutes, Francois dismounted me, picked up her dress and
went into the bathroom. She was covered with sweat from head
to toe. After about five minutes she emerged from the bathroom
looking calm and relaxed, dress buttoned and her hair combed.
“John, I could
not wait any longer. Cathy said the nurse said you were fine
so I came back an hour ago and waited for you to wake up.
I just had to have you. I can’t explain it. I have never
had this experience before. I just realized how deeply I am
attracted to you. I had to have you inside me. I had to have
relief,” she said.
“It is OK,
Francois. I have no complaints. I love making love to you.
I find I like being raped as well,” I grinned.
a bit embarrassed which I knew was not a familiar feeling
mind has been racing over a thousand things. I am devoted
to you and I am going to do everything I can to help you.
Everything, and I can help in a lot of ways,” she said.
“I need to
go now but I may be back. If not, I will see you at the meeting
tomorrow with Nusbaum after which you and I and Cathy are
going to enjoy ourselves to the max.”
“I love you
John. I really do,” she said.
“I love you
too Francois. And thank you. That was a wonderful experience.”
We kissed and she
Marshall and Cathy returned and Cathy said she was going to
get us some coffee while Marshall was here and kissed me lightly
on the lips and left.
what can I say?” I asked.
hours ago you were shot and ten minutes ago you were raped
according to Cathy. What a world you continue to live in,”
“I think we
have not seen anything yet. Hey, Nusbaum is talking about
a billion dollars. Now getting shot at is not much compared
to that potential reality,” I said.
Marshall just looked
out the window and we were silent for about five minutes.
“My life is
hard for you to relate to isn’t it son?,” I said.
“Dad I just
cant get a handle on all that happens to you. And no matter
what happens, you stay calm and lucid. You are like the captain
of an old sailing ship who stands on the quarter deck no matter
if it is smooth sailing or sailing through a typhoon.”
a long time in prison, a year, like it was nothing. Few people
could do that. And when you were shot you did not freak out.
You were calm with a clear head. You were the one shot and
immediately you took charge of everything. I just don’t
know how you do it,” he said.
“Well, I feel
like I died in battle in so many past lives. I just don’t
think about the dying but instead I think about living moment
to moment until my lights go out for good. I want to take
that last look around. It is like having your head cut off.
For a few moments you are still conscious and aware of what
is going on. You cant speak but you can move your eyes; open
your mouth. I always thought that when the French were cutting
off heads, someone should have held the head by the hair when
the blade did its job. The head should be held up so it could
see the crowd instead of the inside of a basket. That would
be the perfect death of my preference,” I said.
freak out at such thoughts. But I would just want to have
those last seconds looking at the world and saying goodbye
for now. And what is more, just before death, I would be wondering
how it was going to be. I want to die awake. I want to know
I am dying and then enjoy the experience. I would want to
remember it the same as being born.”
you really are out of it,” Marshall said.
I just don’t hang on. I want to live as long as I possibly
can. I will take every minute that God gives me but if I know
for sure I am going to die, I want to fully experience the
“You see Marshall,
I know my soul will not die. Just my body will die. I know
I will be free of all earthly limitations until I am born
again. So I have no fear but instead I have happy expectations.”
some Tibetan Buddhist who say they remember the whole death
to life experience. That is what the Tibetan Book of the Dead
is about; the time between lives.”
on Marshall and every moment is wonderful; the pain and the
pleasure. Because you see Marshall, in the spirit you can’t
feel anything except through memory. This is what I have learned
about sex. To truly experience the euphoria of it, to pull
in that little bit of heaven, you have to be incarnate in
“It is the
same I am sure with ascetics. These people are masochistic
and they reach that euphoric bliss through pain. They starve
themselves and whip themselves to be able to experience a
bit of heaven. They push as close to death as they can. I
don’t chose pain to go to heaven. I chose pleasure and
there is only one natural pleasure that will take you there
and that is sex.”
“The more perfect
the partner the more enhanced the experience. And yet I do
not believe the experience of heaven in sex is as great as
the experience of heaven in starvation because starvation
takes you closer to death and the closer to death one gets
the weaker the body/spirit connection and the more intense
and clear your glimpse of heaven.”
“So in being
shot, something I did not desire or bring on, I could take
control of the moment and live a brighter experience of life.
I could sharpen my focus and assure those around me in order
to take away some of their anxiety. I was most concerned about
Kay because of her heart. I have caused her enough pain for
“Kay is fine,”
Marshall said. “She said her heart did not jump very
much but I think she did have a vision or epiphany of some
kind. She seems changed.”
I think she saw things with me as they really are. She may
have let go of some of her fear and increased her faith. I
will talk to her. I will see her tomorrow. Please tell her
I want her in on that meeting. It is important to me that
she be there.”
“I will tell
her,” he said.
“What do you think about Francois?” I asked.
“She is a
very beautiful woman,” he said.
“She is a
beautiful wild child; a free spirit. She has no fear and she
is smart and driven and I think she loves me more than I ever
thought possible. But she is a totally free spirit. She appears
and vanishes like a ghost. She is nothing like Cathy. Cathy
is like you. She is my rock, my anchor and my foundation.
In that sense she is a lot like Kay.”
“You see Marshall,
these women are like my children. Not like Brian, Stephanie
and Dave full of darkness; but like spiritual children. They
are each unique but alike in their love for me. And age wise
they are the age of my biological children and with Cathy
close to my grand children’s age.”
not my children except in the sense that I have a special
loving relationship with them. Francois was so traumatized
by the shooting that the only way she could calm down was
to feel me during intense intimacy. She had to convince herself
that I was really alive and the intense sex did that for her.
That was probably the best sex of her life. And as she reaches
those deep levels of metaphysics, I am carried along as well.
I know she loves me.”
“I am happy
with my life, a dynamic business, the WorldPeace Advocacy
and my creativity of art and writing and a very dynamic love
life. I see now I could never be happy with one woman. I have
too many facets of me that need attention.”
said, before the incident Cathy and I were discussing the
fact that I am married to the WorldPeace Advocacy and really
always have been. That is why I was never able to be the father,
husband, son I wanted to be. I had to serve my true love,
my destiny, my God.”
can only be my mistresses never my wife. I cannot give them
that. And the women, who are with me the most, have the most
significant relationship with me. That is why it was important
that the Snake and Kay work with me. It is something I saw
with my father’s parents and demanded in my marriage;
a working together in harness like you and Myle. But you two
have the best relationship because I feel it is an equal partnership.”
“Kay and the
Snake by choice were always second class partners because
neither wanted to make decisions because they could not deal
with making the wrong decision; especially the Snake. She
will never make a decision without taking a vote because she
can’t take ridicule. The Snake was beat down by her
father as Kay was beat down by her father and Randy, her first
husband. Their self esteem was permanently stunted.”
“But you see
Cathy is not like that. I could not believe she had her gun
out. And then she took charge of your car. She went to that
higher level of focus and took charge. You see in that situation,
Francois could not do what Cathy did naturally and I think
by some training somewhere.”
“It is complicated
but I think you understand.”
“I do now
that you have explained it,” he said. “You are
not just attracted to those women for sex, you really love
them. And you love them because they are in sync with you
on a very deep level.”
“Yes, I do
love them as much as I am capable of. They will always come
second to the WorldPeace Advocacy and God and my destiny;
which I view as God’s work since the time I was eight
years old and I had some kind of epiphany.”
Cathy returned with
coffee for all three of us. I asked her to come sit by me
on the bed and she did. I pulled her head toward me and kissed
her. I could feel the sadness and confusion in her and I could
tell she needed my attention. I stroked her shoulder and neck
and kissed her lightly.
“How are you
doing?” I asked.
“It has been
a very traumatic day, John,” she said. “I thought
I had lost you and now every time you are away from me I will
worry about you,” she said as a tear started to form
in her eye.
I am going to step out and make some calls.”
I said. “Will you please call Kay and tell her that
I am alright. And tell her I really want her to be at the
he said as he walked out and quietly closed the door.
Cathy then broke
down and cried.
“It is OK,”
I said. “Everything is going to be just fine.”
many people hate you just because you are John WorldPeace.
How do you deal with that?” she asked.
world is an evil place. There is a lot of light but the nature
of the earth and human beings is darkness. The predatory confusion
in this tangible reality is just too great. I have fought
that reality all my life. I refused to believe it. But God
has shown me why he destroyed the world once.”
“I have come
to realize that the majority of people if given the choice
to do the right or wrong thing with absolutely no consequence
to themselves, will choose to do the wrong thing.”
Her body began to
shake even more and she silently cried.
“I see so
much now John. You are fighting the whole world. People like
Jeremy are committed to peace and they will all support you
but John they have no idea what you are up against.”
don’t know. And John I would have never known if I had
not seen that bullet slam into you; a foot to the left and
it would have blown your head off.”
“Are you wanting
to bail out?” I asked her.
She looked at me
hurt and astounded.
“John I could
never do that. I love you deeply totally and even more now
because I can see what you are trying to do. But with that
deep love and commitment, I have great fear for you,”
is my destiny. And God did not teach me so much over the last
sixty years to allow me to die right when I am about to speak
out. You just have to have faith in that.”
“John I feel
so sorry for Kay,” she said. “She is such a beautiful
person and I know you loved her and she you. But she had to
deny that love because she could not take the constant barrage
of hits that slam into you. And now they will increase. The
negativity will increase,” she said in contemplation.
it will never triumph over me any more than the Snake or those
who took my law license or those who illegally sent me to
prison. Again this is my true love Cathy. And I cannot abandon
WorldPeace anymore than you can leave me. It is my path. WorldPeace
is my life, my faith, my destiny; my first consideration,
my first priority. Now you understand more of what we were
talking about before the shooting.”
I have had my eyes opened. My love for you was not just a
physical attraction. It goes to the core of my soul. I know
that now. That is the depth of my comments to you John. I
just never imagined there would be such a connection of love
from the core of your being to mine. I am overwhelmed with
the epiphany I had today. I don’t think there is anyone
on the planet that is more connected and in sync with you
than me,” Cathy said.
that strong?” I asked.
And I feel alive for the first time in my life. There is so
much more to me than I have allowed you to see John. But I
know you sense it even though you don’t have all the
details. You just take me on faith without the details and
give me your love. You said I am your mistress and I understand
that but I now understand you love me totally. And I understand
how you love Francois. She touches part of you but she does
not touch as much of you as I do. And it doesn’t matter.
I can feel your total love for me but I know that your love
of WorldPeace, that is really God inspired, is even more dynamic
even though there is no male female human aspect to it. So
much is clear now. But nothing has changed. I love you.”
“And I understand
also that Francois had to make love to you. She is deeply
connected to you but she is your mistress too. I saw her love
when she insisted on feeling you inside her. I could see her
soul would not relax until she made love to you and felt that
“I feel the
same way but you make love to me so often I don’t have
to get on top of you right now even though I would like to.”
“John, I know
people are being drawn to your light now. They are going to
come to you like me and Francois and Jeremy’s friends.
There are going to be women who are past life connections
for you and some you will make love to and some just spend
time with. You will teach many and they will go and teach
others. You are a teacher of teachers.”
“But I feel
too John that I am Kay’s replacement. I am the person
you need at this time in your life and I think for the rest
of your life. I feel I am your third wife even though you
may never marry me. Kay could not do what I can do. I saw
so much on her face today; so many memories. After all she
has been through, she could not believe someone shot you right
in front of her. She loves you so much but she just can’t
cope with attempted assassinations. Jesus how am I coping?
I don’t know. I just feel it will all work out.”
“I saw you
pull your gun,” I said, “and take over the scene
telling Myle, Kay and Francois what to do. Acting without
being told. Wow. I know there is more to you than I imagined.
You are my guardian angel. But you didn’t get all your
skills out of a book or by intuition. Someone trained you
and that makes me wonder if our connection was planned.”
“I swear it
wasn’t John. We connected because of God and not because
of any assignment I had been given by and earthly power.”
“That is something
else I realized, that other than Kay, who can you trust?”
she asked. “You have opened up to me based on your faith
and intuition. But you don’t know me. Yet here we are.
I am in your arms because I love you totally not because I
have been assigned to you. But I just happen to have the skills
and personality that you need at this time in your life. I
am the love you need and the bodyguard and assistant you need.
Marshall and I are two peas in a pod. We both love you deeply.
We need you to be OK.”
We sat there for
about ten minutes saying nothing until Marshall returned.
OK?” I asked.
is at Granny’s having some wine but she said to tell
you she is OK and will be there at the meeting tomorrow. She
wants to know how to spell ‘billion dollars’.”
I laughed. “That
means she is OK.”
was traumatized but you. I can’t believe it. How do
you do it dad? I was impressed with the way you handled jail
and prison but being shot is a whole different level of coping.
I can tell you want to get up and go home now,” he said.
I will stay put to be safe. Marshall this is my destiny. Life
is but a dream. What will be will be. I have always had this
higher calling; this complete faith in God even if God frustrates
me at times. My faith in what I am doing is total. Death is
just a doorway to another room.”
I smiled. ‘Life
is a daring adventure or nothing’. I think that is what
Helen Keller said.”
“What do you
think about Nusbaum,” I asked.
weird scenario. Someone shows up out of the blue who you need.
And he is legit. The FBI checked him out,” Marshall
“And my sources
too, who are reliable,” said Cathy.
tell me something about you related to how you learned to
handle a pistol and take charge in a crisis like today,”
I want to be the little groupie but I had to show myself today
because of that fanatic taking target practice with you as
enlighten us a bit,” I said.
are very smart, very rich by inheritance and work; and very
European. I am an only child and was born athletic and brilliant.
I obtained a Phd at sixteen. Fortunately my parents did all
kinds of things to help me appear normal. I never thought
I would find anyone to love,” she said.
“I went to
work for the Navy at fourteen mostly in the area of computers
and encryption; top, top secret stuff. I asked to go through
some secret agent training which I was allowed to do. I was
on operations in Europe on a contract basis on and off as
I worked with the Navy. I speak seven languages fluently;
the four main European languages, Chinese, Swahili, and Hebrew.
I can get along in other languages after I listen to them
a bit,” she said.
“When I was
nineteen, I went to work for a top secret company that contracted
work for the CIA and NSA and some other government organizations
that are officially non existent. And that is what I still
do. I was on leave for two months when I met you. Now I don’t
know what I am going to do. You are a life time project.”
“The CIA and
FBI talked to me after you and Marshall were there last. They
are less concerned about you because we are together,”
“All of Jeremy’s
group are very rich; mostly inherited money and work and they
invest their income on top of that. I would say that someone
in that group knows directly or indirectly every important,
as in VIP, on the planet. They are all politically active.
The gatherings we have are a ‘let you hair down’
group. Everyone lives an intense and unique life with no one
really to talk to. We refer to ourselves as ‘the peace
group’; no caps.”
“That is it
in a nutshell,” she said.
Marshall?” I asked.
“None so far,”
“You two are
just alike; listeners.” I said.
“About ten years ago we, the peace group, believed that
an individual was going to show up that would influence the
whole world human society as you call it. We were not looking
for a messiah or messenger or Antichrist. We did not seek
profile in that respect. We just looked at history and thought
about the timing of when these great souls appear.”
Dudley Cooper spotted
you on the net a while back and has been following you but
you have no organization, disciples, followers and your life
has been chaotic. So all we thought you had going was the
name. We should have known better. The most obvious is the
most hidden,” she laughed.
“Then by pure
fate, I saw you and was physically attracted immediately.
And every since then all the pieces have been falling into
place. You keep matching the profile we put together for this
mystery person. You just popped up out of nowhere and put
us all into shock so to speak.”
when you said, “How can this be” and Nusbaum said,
‘Because he is the Kwisats Haderach’, I though
Francois was going to faint. I saw you notice her reaction
John. The Kwisats Haderach has been our code name for who
we are looking for; and you and Harold said the magic words.
Now everyone is wondering where Harold came from and how he
fits in. So two surprises now, John,” she said.
“Let me say
that we are planning to help you John but we are not going
to suggest any course of action. We don’t want to interfere.
We are backup. We want to see what you are going to do. We
want to enjoy the show; not to make fun, not observe you as
a lab rat. We have high expectations for the Kwisats Haderach
and if you are the one we have been looking for then we want
to enjoy the fact that we were allowed to watch and help when
is in gear now. We could not plan for this phase until we
found you. So we have no agenda except to observe and see
how all this is going to play out. Everyone likes the name
WorldPeace Advocacy. See this is what is fun. We have had
many discussions about the mission of the Kwisats Haderach
and what would he his real name. Now we know and we just enjoy
discussing how we wracked our brains and were not even close.”
“And we laugh
that your name is so obvious. Like you keep saying, ‘the
most obvious is the most hidden’.”
of all John, if you are the one we profiled, we are excited
because we know the world will become a more sane place because
order and pretty high expectations, my love,” I said.
not for John WorldPeace.”
“This is so
overwhelming, dad.” He said. “I have a twenty-four
year old prodigy who says that she and others think my dad
is going to change the world for the better; the whole world
human society. It is just a little much. But I have seen the
manuscripts and the events over the last year and a half.
I have watched you change. But I did not see how much because
I have been so busy,” he said.
“So much begins
to make sense now with my mother and my brothers and sister
and with Kay and all the people you have interacted with:
judges, politicians and so on.”
is an HPD sergeant outside the door. He is a friend of mine
and he will be there all night. I need to get some sleep because
it is going to be a long day tomorrow and I need some time
to think. So unless you need me, I will see you tomorrow,”
give me a hug,” I said and he complied.
Cathy got off the
bed and they hugged as well.
everything Marshall,” she said and Marshall left.
ask that officer to come in so I can thank him?” I said.
Cathy went to the
door and asked the officer to come in.
is Frank Ennis,” said Cathy.
Frank was dressed
in plain clothes.
Frank for standing guard,” Cathy said.
you,” I said.
“It is a crazy
world. Can Cathy get you anything?” I asked.
“No, Dr. WorldPeace,
I am fine and I am always ready to help Marshall,” he
again. If you need anything, Cathy will get it for you. Very
nice to meet you,” I said.
“Nice to meet
you sir,” he said as he walked out.
don’t have time to consider all you told Marshall and
me. I am too tired. Come sit with me,” I said.
me happy, Cathy.”
“And I love
you too, John,” she said as she sat on the edge of the
bed and held my hand.